Last month, Rodent Giovanni Paglia, the Grand Master of the Loyal and Ancient Order of the Mouse, visited Malta on the 13th anniversary of the establishment of the order on our shores.
On his arrival in the great hall of the lodge His Mousiness was greeted with the traditional deafening chorus of squeaks by the Maltese members of the order, all of whom were present on this auspicious occasion.
During his visit the Grand Master also attended the initiation ceremonies of two new mice into the order.
This top-secret process involves the rolling up of both trouser legs, the exposure of the left buttock and the swearing of the secret oath of allegiance to the Loyal and Ancient Order of the Mouse, while standing on one leg (preferably the most attractive one) on an antique Sheraton rat trap.
Afterwards wine and cheese were served to everyone present.
Lustrina appeal
Before the full glare of TV cameras, television personality and partner in There's Nobody Productions, Zeppi Camilleri, last Thursday handed over the cheque of moneys collected in last Christmas's Lustrina televised appeal.
This appeal, fleshed out with 'personalities' making fools of themselves and multiple donations of white goods realised a record sum in pledges of €2.8 million.
Unfortunately, when it came to redeeming these pledges the sum decreased somewhat. So the amount of money actually handed over to the President amounted to €3.27... plus an indeterminate amount in coinage of obsolete Japanese and Bolivian currencies. But, as Mr Camilleri said, "It's the thought that counts eh."
In a speech thanking There's Nobody, the president of the Community Chest Fund said: "Grazzi."
Maltese in space
Mr Albert Plunkett Galea, 47, of San Gwann - (Pictured above in the naff silver suit and headphones) - recently attained the considerable feat of being the first Maltese to go into space.
Mr Plunkett Galea was part of the crew of the space shuttle Discovery, when it blasted off into outer space on a voyage into the unknown.
In recognition of his history-making voyage, Mr Plunkett Galea was awarded the highest national award when he became a member of Xirka Gieħ ir-Repubblika.
Unfortunately Mr Plunkett Galea was not present to receive his award from the President of the Republic, since his spacecraft has not yet returned from its mission - and was last heard of in perpetual orbit around the sun.
People
Miss Bunty Tagliaferro Turner - (pictured above with her leg in a plaster cast) - and her partner Raymonde Apap Lautier - (pictured above in the wheelchair) - recently placed 129th out of the whole of Europe in the Pan European Formation Vomiting Championships in Gstaad, Switzerland.
The couple had their finest hour in the Vindaloo projectile heats, but fared rather less well in the semi-finals when, in the throes of a rather over enthusiastic chunder, both participants rather over-reached themselves... hence the cast and the wheelchair.
For your diary
Fr Edwin Montegiorni Said will give a talk entitled 'Leisure activities of the Maltese during the Great Siege of 1565' at the San Geronimo Hall, San Gwann, next Friday at 6 p.m. All are welcome.
The San Gwann underwater ramblers association will be leading a 14-kilometre exploratory underwater hike nine kilometres offshore in the general direction of Lampedusa next Saturday at 6.30 a.m. Members are requested to bring strong shoes and towels. Refreshments and snorkels will be provided.
The San Gwann Seniors Swingers' Club will be holding a bring and buy sale next Wednesday. A large variety of spouses will be on sale at various prices and in several stages of preservation: from almost new, via slightly damaged to totally clapped out.
A silver collection will be made in aid of members who can no longer swing, but are content to merely dangle. Doors open at 10 a.m.