Sina Xuereb and Annalise Galea tell Claire Caruana respect is a crucial element, as is good communication, when seeking to maintain positive relationships with a mother-in-law.

Annalise Galea

Annalise, 24, who is getting married next month, admits to having pre-wedding jitters, just as any other bride-to-be, but she has one less thing to worry about: her relationship with her soon-to-be mother-in-law, Rita.

“I actually met my father-in-law first as I had a part-time job while still in school and so did my fiancé and his father. Rita used to come over to see them and I first got to know her there.

They’ve always shown me great respect, both of them, and for that I can say I love them both as much as I love my two sons

“When I started going over to their house, I instantly felt comfortable in her presence and I could really tell she is an exemplary mother,” says Annalise of her first impressions of Rita.

Annalise enjoys sharing her thoughts with her mother-in-law and with the wedding coming up, Annalise and Rita are busy with preparations. Rita also gives Annalise tips on her new home.

Annalise also points out spending time together is really important and so the two often spend the weekends together.

“We really enjoy going out at weekends together as a family, especially for picnics or BBQs,” adds Annalise.

Good communication is key to maintaining a good relationship, she says, as is respect. “Obviously, caring and respecting her only son is also very important,” quips Annalise.

She says she believes a positive relationship with her fiancé’s family is important if they are to have a happy marriage.

“I find I can learn a lot from Rita’s own experiences and I think the advice she gives me really helps, especially as I plan my future and seek to build a strong marriage.”

Seen from the other angle

Sina, 56, has two sons, one is married and the other is engaged. She says she has also been blessed with two daughters-in-law, Daniela and Ruth, with whom she has a very good relationship.

“My elder son’s wife, Daniela, lived close by when she was young and so I’ve known since she was just a little girl. My other son’s fiancée, Ruth, I met when he introduced us when they first started dating, which was quite some time ago now. I immediately knew both were very sweet, good-natured girls,” explains Sina.

She admits they don’t meet up as often because they are all quite busy with work commitments yet she insists they still try to catch up often.

“We might not meet as much but we try to make an effort to communicate in some way. If we haven’t seen each other in a while, we grab the phone and have a little chat that way.”

Sina insists maintaining a good relationship is not only about spending long hours together but making the most of the time you do get. In summer for instance, says Sina, she enjoys getting all the family together for a BBQ.

“It’s not just about the activities you do together but rather how you spend the time you do have. I try to keep in contact with Ruth and Daniela and show interest in what they are doing.

“I think that’s very important and makes the relationship even stronger,” she adds.

Sina insists she considers herself quite lucky as both her daughters-in-law are very respectful towards her.

“They’ve always shown me great respect, both of them, and for that I can say I love them both as much as I love my two sons.”