"So who do you want to be the next leader of the opposition then sweetheart?"

"Ooh I dunno. I quite fancy that young, pudgy ginger one, with the cheeky smile. Pity about his silly little beard."

"Youngish pudgy one? Oh him. Naar, he's too young and inexperienced. Why don't you fancy the bloke who was deputy thingummy?"

"What, you mean the one who looks like somebody from the Addams family?"

"Yeah, him."

"Ooh no, I couldn't fancy him, he looks creepy. He looks like he sleeps in a coffin and can't go out during daylight hours."

"Rubbish, he seems a very competent politician... not that the words 'competent' and 'politician' sit well together... still. OK then, you're a woman, why don't you go for Marie whatsit, she's the only woman standing?"

"Naar, she always looks as though she's about to burst into tears. And anyway I don't like women politicians... look at Mrs Thatcher and Hillary Clinton."

"I take the point. Well what about the lawyer. Don't you like him?"

"Yeugh! You have got to be joking. He's the shiftiest looking one of all of them. I wouldn't trust him to lead a conga... let alone a political party."

"Not easy to please are you?"

"Who else is there?"

"Well there's that bloke from Mellieħa with the specs, you quite like him."

"I said he looked cuddly, that's not quite the same thing as wanting him to lead a political party. Is that it?"

"More or less. Oh yeah, there is one more, another lawyer... George something. The one they say the grass, roots are rooting for."

"Grass, roots? Well if they are grass - roots, they would be rooting, wouldn't they... geddit?"

"Very droll. So what do you reckon to this George feller?"

"As party leader?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't he the one that's... well, a bit past his sell-by-date?"

"What do you mean?"

"How old is he?"

"Er 60 something, why?"

"Then he's too old. They've just got rid of one oldie, they don't want to go straight back and appoint another. Who else is there?"

"Nobody else, that's it."

"Then I'll stick with my original choice, I'll go with the young, pudgy ginger one."

"I see, I see, so it's never mind the water and electricity surcharge. To hell with all that partnership for peace stuff, who gives a toss about Mepa and corruption and the development of Mistra, the golf course issue, the Gozo airstrip, Switzerland in the Mediterranean, our chances of winning the Eurovision Song Contest, getting screwed by the EU, the ever-deepening ħofra, ministerial incompetence and the cost of living... with you it's just lie back and think of Joseph!"

"No, I never said I wanted to sleep with him, I just said I fancied him."

"You should be ashamed of yourself, a grown woman behaving like some teenage groupie. You should show more maturity and plump for the best and most competent candidate. This is a major political decision that's being made on June 5."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is it so important?"

"Well because... because it's a political leader we're deciding here, it's not some kind of kinky beauty contest."

"I think that's exactly what it is."

"Rubbish, do you think the majority of people voted for GonziPN because they thought he was more beautiful than Alfred Sant?"

"Frankly... yes."

"That's absolute twaddle! And typical of a woman. Listen you dense bint, people vote for policies and ideals, for integrity and far-sightedness. Their vote is not influenced by irrelevant trivia like GonziPN's winning smile, or the whiteness of his teeth for God's sake!"

"They based their judgment on the various candidates' seriousness and ability. Just like everybody else does. Who did you vote for in the last election anyway?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you."

"I voted for the green party."

"You never did! What the hell for?"

"Cos green's my favourite colour."

"Give me strength."