The words and background music selected for advertisements are supposed to make us aware of things we never had, and never thought we needed - and to create an insatiable appetite for them.
It would seem, however, that the copywriters are not overly careful about their choices.
Take, for instance, the bumph for a particular place of entertainment. As a special offer, entrances fees have been slashed for Maltese patrons. There is only one snag - the advert is in English. This means anyone who does not understand the language cannot take advantage of this boon.
Then there is the boutique where a seasonal sale has just begun. Immediately following the last spoken words, the snatch of song used throughout continues "... I know it's over..."
It is not only the PR copywriters who are responsible for this type of error; sportscasters, newscasters, and anyone else who sits in front of a monitor or behind a microphone is liable to make similar mistakes.
Deadlines and live programmes are not valid excuses (unless, in the former case, copy is edited badly between being sent and appearing in print). Command of the language does not permit contest being translated into kuntest, novel into novella and romance into rumanz.
The trend is to grab the word in the vernacular nearest to the one to be translated, and use that.
• A good number of children - and some adults - dream of being secret agents or at least detectives, not (only) for the associated glamour, but for the one-upmanship mindset the jobs require.
Others dream of being on television - not as a mere member of an inane audience that has to clap whenever the 'Applause' notice lights up, but as an integral part of the production itself.
A fantastic opportunity has arisen for children aged between eight and 12, which will combine all of the above, and more.
Spiji is the upcoming television programme aimed at children that will tread new ground in the local scene and give local viewers what they have long deserved, but had to get from foreign sources.
The idea behind the show, my sources tell me, is to get teams to explore different places where a particular sort is being carried out. But there is a snag. One of the 'staff' is an impostor, trying to put a spanner in the works. This is a treasure hunt with a difference, where the clues need thinking about well before the can be deciphered.
Spiji will not rely on games or visual imagery for effect; it is based on a solid grounding of local history and culture, and will entail the participation of home audiences as well as those taking part in the adventure proper.
Auditions, for some reason, are through a three-minute home video that a team [made up of two children] must compile in order to indicate their suitability as candidates. It has probably been assumed that most children would own, if not a video camera, a telephone that can shoot three minutes of digital imagery.
These clips must be sent to Spiji, Iz-Zona, PBS Ltd, P.O. Box 70, Msida, PTA 1022, and must include the potential candidates' names and telephone numbers, home and e-mail addresses, and ages. The deadline for sending in applications is August 10.
Spiji comes from the same panel that gives us Iz-Zona. This, in itself, is practically a guarantee of top-notch viewing, since the modus operandi of this team is to allow children to enjoy their childhood, in the most wholesome way possible. Francesca and Jacob, the wonderful young people who present Iz-Zona, are a breath of fresh air in the often putrid atmosphere of the local media.
• One would have thought there is enough aggravation in connection with shows such as Britain's Got Talent and American Idol, to put anyone off attempting similar shows.
Most people would remember Alexis Cohen, who was killed by a hit-and-run driver, and of course, Susan Boyle. Ju'Not, one of the latest contestants, has gone on record as saying how obvious it is that the shows are fixed; of course, detractors have braded him a 'bad loser'.
Some of his most telling words included "What I mean is that people think AI is a talent show. No. It's a reality show with writers! We're all actors. All these shows have writers that guide the public opinion. The Hills, Real World. All of them... Do you think a billion-dollar enterprise is subject to the whim of the public?"
In Maltese shows of this kind, I would say that this element is, although not totally absent (viewers, too, have their favourites... and their opinions); it is much less in evidence. This could be because there are other factors obtaining.
I watched ID (One Television) this week, and I could tell that some of the members of the judging panel were more intent on highlighting their own talents, rather than those of the contestants, who were left befuddled and bemused when they could not make out why they were being criticised for something that another judge appeared to like.
• Letters, mails and calls about the now infamous EPSO issue keep coming. One of the best ones yet included the immortal line "... I wish! I would have retired by now!" The context is obvious.
television@timesofmalta.com