Take a few phrases from Dom, steal a sentence from Eddie, throw in a large dose of strategy from Alfred and what have you got? A rather confusing Joseph, who, by his language and conduct, is showing he will do whatever it takes to win the next election.
The first two men are unlikely to be amused, not only because there is little chance they will ever support the Labour leader - Mr Mintoff views him as too closely associated with the former regime he detests, while there is no need for an explanation in Dr Fenech Adami's case - but also because, poles apart as they may be in character and ideology, these former leaders contested elections because they stood for something. And they tend to respect others who do the same.
Dr Muscat is making it obvious that he will stand for lots of things. Some old, some new, some borrowed from pollsters, and some blue. By attempting to heal the wounds of hitherto rejected Mintoffians - a small but not insignificant element of Labour - and opening the party up to sectors of society that have traditionally felt "more comfortable" with the Nationalist Party, he is going for a marriage made in heaven. It will not be lost on him, however, that this particular union carries with it a high risk of divorce.
Not for the first time, Dr Sant's view is likely to differ from that of his two nemeses. Even if he does not entirely agree with his successor's methods, he will undoubtedly empathise with the approach - for it was he who dragged the Labour Party kicking and screaming from the docks into modernity; it was he who eliminated the radical elements of the party; and it was he who latched on to populist issues, particularly discontent over VAT and the EU's treatment of Malta, to secure an unexpected victory - with the help of traditional Nationalists who either floated or stayed home - in the 1996 election.
There is nothing wrong with the new Labour leader trying to emulate that victory and he has in recent days taken what he considers to be two big strides towards his electoral goal.
He jettisoned his gaffe-prone general secretary, Jason Micallef, who finally succumbed to the pressure that has been mounting since he was elected to the post. This is a move that shows a previously unseen steel edge to the fresh-faced leader. But it will only endear him to more moderate voters if he can find a competent replacement and carry on with the purge in other critical areas of his party. His problem is that he does not have an embarrassment of riches to choose from.
Dr Muscat also surprised many by recruiting Marisa Micallef, the former Nationalist Party defender who, perhaps more significantly, had on several occasions showered praise on Lawrence Gonzi.
This may be an isolated incident, or it could be the domino that causes others - with similar backgrounds and sentiments to the former Housing Authority chairman - to follow suit. Which, is likely depend on how the Nationalist Party chooses to react.
Some will advocate doing nothing, preferring to bury their heads in the sand. But such an approach is only likely to leave a sensitive part of the body exposed for more dangerous creatures than seagulls to pick at. The alternative to that is for the PN to analyse precisely why such a thing took place and establish what it must do to stop it happening again. Then it must do it.