While the number of domestic violence incidents keeps rising every year, there is little information about the effect it can have on children who are directly or indirectly subjected to such abuse.

It is not only children who are physically subjected to domestic violence who are affected. Those who are witness to their parents fighting or shouting can also be traumatised. Parental alienation can also have as much of a negative effect as other forms of abuse.

A parent who does everything to erase the other’s existence from the child’s memory or who forbids any contact between them pushes the child to develop a feeling of hatred. This can lead not only to aggression but also anxiety and self-harm.

The consequences of domestic abuse can vary from psychological damage such as low self-esteem and depression to physical self-harm or violence towards others.

They believe that this is how you show love,since their fathers hit their mothers and their mothers hit them

Unfortunately there are many obstacles to helping children and their families escape domestic abuse. Some victims feel helpless and do not come forward to report such abuse. They believe they will never be able to leave their home, because they are attached to their abuser despite the violence, or simply for financial reasons, as most often they do not have an independent income. Children often prefer to stay with an abusive parent to protect the other from the perpetrator.

Other children may, after being witness to domestic violence, accept this as ‘normal’. This will lead the children to engage in domestic violence themselves when they become adults.

These issues were discussed during a seminar held to commemorate the 10th anniversary of the Commission for Domestic Violence.

The seminar, presented by a panel of experts including child advocate Dr Tanya Sammut Catania and child safety services counsellor Lauraine Kenely, focused on the effect of domestic violence on children. The seminar also aimed to raise awareness on the consequences of domestic violence on children.

“The children might think that domestic violence is common, as they can see it happening with neighbours or other family members, but it’s not normal. They believe that this is how you show love, since their fathers hit their mothers and their mothers hit them. ‘It’s normal,’ they say. ‘They love me.’ We need to break this culture,” Ms Kenely said.

While progress had been achieved in the area of prevention and protection of families, Dr Sammut mentioned the need of more child lawyers in Malta, as there are only two appointed to the courts. She also discussed the importance of child psychologists and psychotherapists and why not having enough of these is an issue.

“Very often we do recommend the child speaks to a psychologist or the family doctor follows family therapy. The problem is that parents who can’t afford it have to wait for a long time,” she said.

“I feel that more psychologists are needed and in my opinion we should have one in the court building.”

She concluded by encouraging more collaboration between the different agents involved in tackling cases of domestic violence.