By the time you read this with your Sunday morning cornflakes, the World Cup will be well underway.
In fact, to be precise, five of the 64 games will have been completed and diehard fans will already be lamenting the fact there are only 5,310 minutes (plus extra time, of course) of football left to enjoy.
England started their campaign against the US last night (I have a bad feeling about that one), Germany get going tonight, Italy tomorrow and Brazil on Tuesday.
But although the ball is now very much rolling, there is still time for me to get in a few last-minute predictions about what we are going to be seeing over the next month.
None of that 'who will win it' malarkey. That's been done to death by everyone and his dog who all have the word 'Spain' etched onto their foreheads.
No, I think we should take a look at a handful of less popular and slightly more random awards and achievements that will be dished out in South Africa 2010.
Most annoying thing about the tournament - The obvious answer here is Diego Maradona. However, as he just about qualifies as human and therefore not a thing, let's look elsewhere.
And that brings us to the infamous vuvuzela. This traditional horn may be an integral part of South Africa's heritage but that doesn't stop it making the most annoying noise ever heard inside a football stadium. And that includes a Steve McClaren press conference.
Frankly, if I wanted to have my eardrums assaulted for a month I would buy a 'Best of Eurovision' CD and stick it on repeat.
Best supporters - Normally, this is a keenly contested category. But with this particular tournament being held so far away from Europe, and with Fifa's ticket allocation strategy aimed at alienating average fans from watching games, it becomes a one-horse race.
South Africa, as the home nation, will have their fans out in force. They like a good party, and this is the perfect excuse to have one. Brazil will have its usual samba babes to show off and England its tattooed throngs of beer-swilling fanatics, but the South African supporters will be the endearing image of the tournament. Complete with their damn vuvuzelas.
Most irritating manager - Again, I am not going to give this award to Maradona. It would be too easy. So I think we need to look further afield.
And that brings me to the Ivory Coast's Sven Goran Ericsson. He won't actually do anything outrageous, but watching him sitting on the bench like someone who has had an emotional bypass is always highly annoying.
While he looks to outsiders like he is making complex tactical calculations during matches, the reality is he is just working out how to spend the £20,000-a-day he is getting for being there. And wondering if there are any tasty secretaries nearby.
Player least likely to live up to expectations - History suggests this could easily be any one, or possibly all, of the England team. Wayne Rooney, if he can't control his temper, will be a prime contender. However, I think two players in serious danger of failing to shine are Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo.
Undoubtedly among the best players on the planet, expectations of brilliance from these two are sky high. But I have a sneaky feeling that flair isn't going to thrive at this tournament. It's going to be about hardworking and industrious football. And that won't give those two the space to strut their stuff.
With a bit of luck it will Portugal's whining winger who wins this award. Bless him, he deserves at least one trophy this season.
Team most likely to bow out first - There are obviously several contenders for this particularly unwelcome title, but I think it is a toss-up between New Zealand and North Korea.
They may have had a couple of decent results in the run-up to the tournament, but New Zealand really are the weakest team to make the finals. Painfully so.
North Korea, on the other hand, look like getting severely spanked in their tough group. However, they will probably not fly home until the end of the contest so it can be reported on state television that they won it, defeating capitalist pig dogs the US 6-0 in the final.
And, on that note, I will leave you all alone to get on with it.
Dan the man that can
Sheffield United's link with Malta got considerably stronger last week when international striker Daniel Bogdanovic signed a two-year deal with the Blades.
And, to be honest, it looks like it could well be a match made in heaven.
On one hand, United needed additional firepower to help with their push for promotion next season, while on the other hand, Bogdanovic made no secret of his desire to make Bramall Lane his new home.
In Championship terms, the lanky Maltese striker is the real deal. He scored 14 goals for Barnsley last season, so United know they are getting a player with a proven track record at this level.
There are doubters out there, cynics who will be thinking Bogdanovic was only signed as a result of the visitmalta.com logo splashed across the front of United's shirts.
And it would be naïve to think the sponsorship deal didn't in some way at least help facilitate the signing.
But the truth is Bogdanovic was signed because it is a smart move for both player and club. He will play next season and, judging by his record, will score goals.
Sadly, things didn't quite go according to plan for Malta's previous Blade Justin Haber who has now moved on to United's sister club Ferencvaros in Hungary.
But I have high hopes that Bogdanovic will not only make his mark in Sheffield but will become an integral part of the team over the next two years.
And that will not only help boost Malta's international reputation but also serve as further incentive for our budding football stars that they too can make the grade in England.
Great Scot
When I first heard it suggested that Kenny Dalglish could be in line to take over at Anfield, I have to admit I thought it was a bit of a weird move.
But the more I think about it the more it seems to make perfect sense.
What Liverpool need right now is someone who can help give the club's solidity and solidarity; a familiar face who reminds the fans of happier times.
Big names are unlikely to want to come to the club given the fact it has a transfer budget of around €3.99, so that means whoever takes over is going to have to operate within severe financial constraints.
That obviously rules out most of Europe's big-name managers. They won't want to come to a club without a serious budget.
Dalglish, though, has indicated he is prepared to work with what he has already got at the club, making only the most urgent and necessary additions. And that sort of talk will go down well with the American owners who, if they were to sell all their assets, could just about raise enough to buy each other lunch.
The problem with Dalglish, however, is that he has been out of management for over a decade. Yes, he won three titles with Liverpool during his previous spell as manager, but that was back in the 1980s.
And the club certainly isn't what it was back then, in terms of being the major force in English football.
I still believe Roy Hodgson would be the ideal man to take over, giving them a perfect combination of fresh ideas, a wealth of experience and no great financial demands.
But the fact that Dalglish is already on the Anfield payroll so they won't have to pay compensation to another club, and he has Liverpool blood flowing through his veins, may just make him the perfect man for the job.
Denying the inevitable?
A final thought for the day.
It has now become something of a tradition for us Maltese to throw our weight behind foreign teams during the World Cup. England, Italy, Brazil and Germany are among those we get passionate about when a major tournament comes along.
But does doing this in some way make us less patriotic? Is the fact that we support another country's football team an indication that we feel less strongly about our national team? Or is it merely a direct and inevitable consequence of Malta never making it to the World Cup?
Personally I would go with the latter. I would love nothing more than to see Malta make it through to the finals of a major tournament. It would fill me with pride and joy.
But I fear it is very unlikely to happen in my lifetime. So does that mean I can't get passionate about England instead? Am I in some strange way disrespecting my country by supporting another one? Am I supposed to just watch the entire tournament as nothing more than an interested neutral?
I would really like to hear what you have to say on this one. Thoughts to the usual e-mail address please.
sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com