I'm writing this at around 1 a.m on Sunday 9th March, after a rather enjoyable, if mildly fraught, meal at Chez Philippe, a.k.a. Bon Pain in Gzira. It was fraught because the conversation kept coming around to the election and what the result could/would/should be, as if any of us had the faintest idea. We didn't even know the turn-out, and I still don't as I write this.

The meal was rendered slightly less enjoyable because a bloke at the next table (he could have been at the furthest table, the place is small) decided that it being a bistro an'all, he should give us a blast of his piano-accordion, an irritating instrument if ever there was one, made more irritating by the tunes this alleged musician chose.

I'm not even sure if by the time this is put up on timesofmalta.com the result of the election will be known. Current predictions are that we should know at around noon, though the closer the result is, the longer it will take to become known. Whether the guys who process this stuff from email to web-page will have had the time to put it up I've no idea.

Well, there it is, we've been and gone and done it now. Chosen a new boss, after outing the old boss - rockers amongst you will notice a passing reference to The Who's "Won't get Fooled Again", which is a perfect ditty for election time. Will the electorate have been fooled, again? You could, probably, fill in the blanks if I left them for you to fill in. Will we have been fooled by promises of all that our little hearts desire, seduced by the siren call of envy and self-interest? Have all the auguries of boon and plenty been taken on board and translated themselves into a scribbled "1" and so on and so forth down the page? Have the rumours and rumours of rumours and the spun spins had their effect on us, giving us, as Gonzi remarked, the Government we deserve?

At this point, I'm in the dark. I'm swinging between believing that the electorate is not totally dumb and will cut through the chaff right over to dreading the possibility that a dearth of policy combined with a good dose of negativity will have had their desired result. Soon enough, we'll know - we might already know, for that matter.

Whatever the result, "the people" has spoken, blessed be the name of the people and we have the Government we deserve. Aren't we lucky?

Actually quite boring

While watching the TV coverage of the counting process, it occurred to me that up to this point, it's like watching paint dry.

The actual count, it being 11.00am hasn't started. All you can see is people with smiles on their faces, though it's generally a smile that reflects tension rather than what's going on inside.

The rumours and analyses (is that the plural of analysis?) have been flying around by email, msn, text and the more old-fashioned method of phone. Trying to figure out what the turn-out figure means is one activity that kept us amused for a couple of hours, though given my grasp of figures, it's probably an exercise that would have given a primary school statistician aching sides.

One rumour I heard, for instance, was that the MLP had carried out two polls which both gave them a 51% lead - then you hear someone else saying that's rubbish, no-one really knows. And so on and so forth.

The funny thing is, by the time this is posted, it will all be over and we'll have got the Government we deserve.

And just in case you were wondering, yes, this segment was just an exercise in blowing off some of my own tension. I'll get back to what passes for normal pretty soon, I hope.

5.45 and I'm shattered

It's 545pm and even though all I've been doing is watching telly since 11, I'm shattered. I can't imagine what it must be like for people working at the Counting Hall. I've done a few elections there in my time (starting with 1987) and it's exhausting - this one must have been pretty tough. Not as bad as '87, since there was way more at stake then, but tough all the same.

Whoever finally gets the nod will have plenty to think about, which as I write it seems to be PN by the merest sliver, though if AD's poor showing translates to a seat, we'll have a surprise to contend with. I've no idea what the chances of that are, as it all depends on the number of No2 votes they get, and cross-over voting isn't a general phenomenon, but the way this election has gone, nothing is impossible at this rate.

And there was I thinking that it was time to get back to normal.

And so it ends

It's 11.30pm and I'm back from a quick (quick?) tour round the Sliema/St Julians Front, which seemed to be a bit more crowded than usual.

The Nationalists have got in, the MLP are refusing to concede defeat and I'm off to sleep with a sense of relief, though so close a shave was it that the nagging doubt that the Nationalist machine might have stripped a cog and got it wrong might give me a nightmare. The MLP spinmeisters seem bent on making my life miserable, even when there's enough cause to ignore them. Such is the way they've conditioned us, I suppose. Then there's the even sillier nagging doubt that the AD might, if a miracle were to be compounded by a miracle and mulitiplied by yet another miracle, scrounge a seat out of their pretty poor showing, throwing everything back into the mix.

No doubt I'll wake up to a new day with all these idiotic thoughts consigned to the rubbish bin of history. It's going to be an interesting couple of days or so, with the ructions that will no doubt take place within the MLP and the election of individual candidates to analyse. It well behoves the PN to take a long searching look at itself in the least forgiving of mirrors at this point. I'll be taking a longer look into that particular kettle of fish, I hope, but for now, it's good night, folks.