Despite the wealth of advice parents and adults readily offer to their children, a friendly ear is very often what the younger generation prefers. A disposition to listen allows children and teens to open up, especially with an adult, and encourages them to be honest about themselves and the problems they face.
The rights of children, their concerns and the channels of help available to children and youths were among the themes discussed during a workshop in which teenagers were the main protagonists.
The workshop was part of a week-long conference, organised by the International Association of Counselling (IAC), entitled "Counselling: A Means Of Bridging Differences", held on July 3-6.
The conference convened local and international experts, including members of the Malta Association for the Counselling Profession (MACP), hosts of the conference, as well as Maltese Commissioner for Children Carmen Zammit. The conference's aim was to discuss themes related to counselling and children, including children in crisis, adoloscents' career decision-making skills, inclusion, mental health, and counselling for disabled children.
In a round panel of 15 Maltese and foreign 11- to 15-year-olds, strong views about the problems they faced, the role of adults, and their expectations of school were expressed.
Some of the views expressed were met by rounds of applause from the audience present - clearly surprised with the level of maturity the youths had reached and "for being so brave" in opening up in front of a large audience. At other times, the youths spoke about what it meant for them to be too old for toys but too young to be burdened with certain responsibilities.
However, it was evident that problems like drugs and alcohol lures young teenagers, the age which MACP president Dione Mifsud describes as "the most challenging and probably difficult period of a human being's life". Despite the problems which the teenagers on the panel described as becoming ever so common, like 13-year-olds taking drugs, the young people also spoke of the need of a friendly ear rather than the parochial adult talk of do's and don'ts or the judgments and misjudgments.
Although they did not shun any of their parents or adults advice the youths explained that "the commonest mistake of an adult, a counsellor or a teacher is that of judging."
The teenagers also said that they wanted adults to be good role models especially since "adults often made mistakes", which is why the teenagers said they did not like being judged.
The teenagers tied in their knowledge on the rights which children enjoyed under the Convention for the Rights of the Child with that fact that children and youths often behaved differently when adults were not around.
"It is one thing to be among teachers and parents; it is quite another when children and youths are in their own company without adult presence. Peer pressure plays a strong part."
Peer pressure undoubtedly also stood in the way of youths who feel the need to talk to a counsellor at school. "Seeking help from a counsellor is also subject to peer pressure. It all depends on the types of friends you have - real friends care for you and support you; friends with whom you just hang out would think you're weak and leave you."
The youths also said that talking to a counsellor doesn't necessarily involve having a problem. "Seeking help doesn't mean you have a problem - it may mean that you just need to discuss and improve. So the mentality among young people should change."
The youths said that PSC lessons helped bridge the way between students and counselling, and that students needed to find ways of taking what they learned during PSD lessons outside the classroom.
Commissioner for Children Carmen Zammit said she was pleased that the youths were so willing to participate. She mentioned that teenagers were eager for PSD lessons which were conducted in a more engaging way, such as through play, or through creativity, like art or sports. She also mentioned that the youths were appreciative of the fact that they were given an opportunity to air their views in front of a large audience.
"The Office of the Commissioner of Children is looking for innovative ways through which children and youths can be given more opportunities through which they can be heard. The Rights4U programme, which is organised annually by the office, is one such opportunity, but we are looking for more ways."
Ms Zammit said that she has already been approached by organisations who requested courses to be organised for children.
"We have already been organising courses in schools that teach children their rights and obligations under the convention. However, the space in which children can talk about their views is never enough."