Ask a Maltese man walking down Republic Street, Valletta whether he hugs his wife enough and he is bound to say: “Of course I do! I just wish she would hug me more.”

Times of Malta carried out a vox pop in the capital’s main street following University of Malta studies which revealed that Maltese women “tend to want their partner to ‘show’ more affection and men want to feel loved too”.

It was the easiest of vox pops: amid a lot of chuckling and giggling, couples strolling in Valletta were very willing to talk about their way of affection.

While women gave more philosophical answers such as, “yes, it’s always good for couples to hug”, men were more practical with replies of “I hug her but she still thinks it’s never enough”.

According to research by the Department of Family Studies, overseen by department head Angela Abela, the issue of affection appears to be the greatest source of disagreement between Maltese husbands and wives.

“I wish she’d hug me more,” Mario Pisani said.

I always encourage couples to start from the basics: smile and look your partner in the eye

“Yes it’s true, he loves hugging me... kumplimentuż ħafna [he is very loving],” his wife, Georgette, said.

How many times do you hug each other in a day?

“Hmmm... We don’t hug as much as we used to when we were young,” Mr Pisani admits.

Aurelio Mizzi said in conspiratorial whisper: “She does not hug me enough.”

His wife, Connie, chuckles: “We squabble but we make up immediately, that’s the way we are.” Hugs and laughter, they both admitted, made a couple stronger.

“I get enough hugs,” Gaby Giacchino said. Her partner, Renzo Spiteri, added: “The best things come free, as they say, so we exchange plenty of hugs. A hug, I think, is a very warm way of going about things.”

According to relationship counsellor Matthew Bartolo, hugging is beneficial to a couple.

“Hugging for a long period of time releases oxytocin. This chemical has been nicknamed the ‘love hormone’ and it is considered to be a major player in the regulation of trust and feeling of belonging,” he said.

Oxytocin is released every time the body feels safe and connected, “like when we hug, hold hands, snuggle or dance”.

From his clinical experience, Mr Bartolo tended to agree that the Maltese, “men in particular”, were “not very physical” when it came to affection and he boiled this down to upbringing.

He quotes Maltese sayings, such as “il-fsied iħassar l-ulied” and “il-fsied qatt m’għamel nies” – spare the rod and spoil the child – which culturally shows that affection is restrained from a young age.

“When boys cry we tend to tell them to stop crying instead of hugging them and showing them affection,” Mr Bartolo said.

He noticed that it was considered fine to be physically affectionate at the “namrar” (lovers) stage but not when a couple had been in a relationship for a long time.

“Men have told me they do not engage in foreplay or physical affection as they are now married and not lovers anymore,” he said. Their way of showing affection was either by doing practical things for their partner, such as chores, or having sex.

“I wonder if it’s because of the social expectations that, once you’re married, you have to focus on working for the family... with no time for affection and romance,” he added.

The Mediterranean streak also comes into play and some men consider hugging as “effeminate” and would rather have no contact unless it’s sexual.

Clinical psychologist Edward Curmi said it was important to steer clear of stereotypes. “Lack of affection can come from both men and women.

“ In my experience men can show affection if they feel comfortable and wanted,” he said.

He highlighted the fact that men tended to be more rational and were always keen to find a solution. “Women would not necessarily be interested in solutions. Sometimes a kiss and a hug would be good enough,” he said.

So what was the solution?

“We have to teach people how to be more in tune with each other and move at each other’s pace,” he said.

Essentially, Dr Curmi added, it all boiled down to communication on both sides.

“I always encourage couples to start from the basics: smile and look your partner in the eye.”

Parents were crucial, he said. They had to be models of affection for their children. “Hopefully, in today’s generation, children see their mother and father interact together and that is great.”

How to hug... just in case you have not done it in a while:

• Approach your loved one and put your hands on his or her shoulders.

• Be welcoming when you hug and make the person feel safe.

• Act as though the two of you are the only people who matter in that moment.

• Hold the hug for a moment before letting go. A hug is a powerful way to communicate that you care; it can feel great and improve the mood.

Why it pays you to hug:

This means that hugging is a sign, and also a trigger, for a happy and healthy relationship and results in:

• Fewer psychological problems

• Fewer heart problems

• Suffer less from chronic diseases

• Longer life

• A beneficial effect on children