Overwhelmed with gratitude for Caritas’ Christmas lunch for the vulnerable and lonely, Patrick* presented the NGO with a donation, saying he preferred starvation to being alone, crippled by solitude.
Caritas public relations officer Marica Mizzi told this newspaper that the NGO was only expecting about 40 people for the initiative, held for the first time this year.
But to the NGO’s surprise, some 200 people turned up at Caritas’ Floriana headquarters for the hot meal prepared by the Caritas shelters and donated by benefactors.
“The people who attended hailed from varying social strata, not just those treading the poverty threshold and suffering material deprivation,” Ms Mizzi said.
“I would say the average age was around 50. Naturally, elderly people in their seventies and eighties stood out but there were also people in their late twenties and thirties, including a mother and her three young children. Interestingly, the genders were balanced out.”
Ms Mizzi added that it was initially not easy to get people to attend, since many harboured a sense of shame at “revealing” that they had no one to share their Christmas with. Other NGOs and entities, such as Dar Leopoldo, St Jeanne Antide Foundation and Appoġġ, pitched in by recommending a number of individuals.
Eleanor Borg, a psychotherapist who heads Caritas’ counselling unit, explained that loneliness was a worrying problem pervading various sectors of society.
“This sense of loneliness is heightened during the Christmas period, which is traditionally a time for togetherness, buying gifts and preparation.
“When so much is happening outside your front door and you’re all alone, with no one to visit you, the contrast is very stark.”
Loneliness could be intensely debilitating, Ms Borg continued, and could negatively affect a person both psychologically and physically, leading to a string of ailments such as depression and the lowering of the immune system.
Loneliness and solitude were derived from a number of factors, Ms Borg explained. Separating couples could be prone to loneliness, leading to situations where the children would live with their mother, isolating their father. Additionally, the parents of separated individuals might look at their children differently. While some were understanding, others would take it out against their children, regarding separation as the stamp of shame.
Widows and widowers, especially those who were beareaved in their 50s, 60s or 70s, could also experience deep loneliness, Ms Borg explained. It took time for such people to venture out and create social networks.
Other people who suffer loneliness include people in the grip of substance addiction, which could rip the family fabric apart, as well as elderly people, some of whom were neglected by their children. Conflict could also arise when an elderly person decided to share his assets, which could create conflict among the children.
People suffering from mental health problems could also be left to their own devices, as were people suffering from material deprivation.
“People battling loneliness must reach out and seek help. Loneliness can be overcome through a variety of ways, such as by deciding to carry out voluntary work,” Ms Borg said.
The sense of a family unit was also being slowly eroded, as parents from their 20s up to their 40s were being increasingly bowed down by long working hours.
*Name changed to protect the person’s identity.