When parents or siblings fall ill, children often feel fear, guilt and frustration, and until a year ago there was no support for them. Janet Micallef and Claire Chircop spoke to Sarah Carabott about the recently set-up Karl Vella Foundation.
The stress and pain of fighting an illness is exhausting and leaves you with no energy to interact with your children, according to Janet Micallef, whose grandchildren are being assisted by the foundation.
“Sometimes, you also feel helpless as you cannot stop them from seeing you struggle. So knowing that they can get a break, at least twice weekly, at a safe place where they have fun and let out their frustration, allows you to recharge your batteries,” she told this newspaper, one year since the foundation opened its doors at the President’s Kitchen Garden in Attard.
The foundation provides educational and psychological support to children aged between five and 17 in families disrupted by illness, helping them maintain continuity and a sense of normality.
For Ms Micallef, the support her grandchildren receive lifts up her own spirits. “They always come back home bursting with excitement, recounting all that they’ve done – whether it was cooking or a ball game.
“The enthusiasm in their eyes gives me strength as it feels as if they have been given what I cannot give them through no fault of my own,” said the woman, who together with her husband has been taking care of her grandchildren, aged nine and 11, for 10 years – since their mother passed away.
A year ago she was told she had cancer and the news instilled fear in the whole family members, including the grandchildren.
“Sometimes, out of the blue, my granddaughter would come up to me, cradle my face in her hands and ask: you’re not going to pass away as well, right?
“And although he does not show it in the same manner, my grandson was also afraid and frustrated. I have seen a huge difference in him since he started going to the foundation’s centre after school.”
Ms Micallef, who is now on the road to recovery, believes her grandchildren open up with the counsellors at the centre, instead of with her, as they do not want to weigh her further down with their own troubles.
The foundation’s chair, Claire Chircop, explained that children whose parents or siblings fall ill sometimes feel guilty in the belief this has happened because they misbehaved.
Ms Chircop co-founded the foundation with her friend Jo’Anna Vella and Rose Vella, wife of the late Karl, who was the inspiration behind the support service.
She got to know Mr Vella when he was already battling cancer and wanted to continue his legacy of positivity and altruism after his death in 2014.
“I remember the only time I saw him frustrated was when he was unwell in hospital, and he did not even want to watch TV as it reminded him that he could not help out during that year’s Istrina activities.
“That incident left an impact on me and when he passed away two months later I started asking: is this the end of his enthusiasm?”
So Ms Chircop shared her thoughts with Rose Vella, and after looking into the available support services, they realised that there was none for the children or siblings of those taken ill.
The foundation was launched that same year, but started providing a service in October of last year.
The demand is increasing, and the centre will be expanding into other rooms within the premises.
Students are dropped off at the centre after school, where they find a warm meal, do their homework and find comfort in leisure activities, counsellors and other children going through the same ordeal.
While this afterschool service is not yet available every day, the foundation’s volunteers are a phone call away anytime, any day of the week, for these families.
Those who would like to help out by volunteering, provide transport or financial support, can send an email to info@karlvellafoundation.org for more information or log onto www.karlvellafoundation.org.