It wouldn't be Christmas without a Scrooge, and we have our fair share of them hovering like ghouls over the online notice boards, dispensing their frosty little icicles of wisdom to the rest of us.

The latest Scroogism was posted under a news report about a boy who was abandoned by his mother after his father died. He ended up living in an institute and hanging around with bad company. It turns out he stole some items of little value, including a bar of chocolate and food because he was hungry.

One homegrown version of Ebenezer was at hand to quote selectively from the Bible and tell us how society should deal with the poor. He wrote, "The irresponsibility of others should not fall on the rest of the people of Malta, who toil and sweat it out while others eat at other people's earnings. Egoism is not on. Why should I be made to pay through the government's taxes for other people's sheer irresponsibility? No one owes me a living and that is what I say to others. Those who don't work must not eat. And this according to St Paul, which I wholeheartedly agree with."

Well, what can I say? How do you counter an argument like that? According to our online Ebenezer, it's "work or die", with St Paul's seal of approval. There is no distinction to be made between those who cannot work because they are still children, too ill to do so, or unable to work because of some other legitimate reason.

The comment reminds me of an exchange in the Charles Dickens classic where one of the men who is collecting alms for the poor asks Scrooge for a donation. The miser replies, "Why? Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?"

To which the man replies "Many can't go there; and many would rather die." Scrooge's retort resembles the argument of those who militate against taking in refugees. He says "If they would rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population."

This is more or less what those who say that migrants' plight is self-inflicted, seem to think. Our comment board humbug would probably agree and brandish the Bible to prove it. Maybe he should give St Paul a second reading and memorise his letter to the Galicians, where the saint had said, "Bear one another's burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal 6:2).

It's panto season again, and this year there are four productions battling it out for audiences. I've often wondered why this essentially British tradition continues to survive and flourish over here.

The answer came to me while we were watching Snow White u s-Seba Qlub tad-Deheb - the panto held at the Catholic Institute. Pantos contain every single element which could possibly appeal to Maltese audiences. And they have these reassuringly familiar mainstays which ensure that we are not shaken out of our comfort zone.

So the lines are uttered in a mish-mash of Maltese and English - as are most of our daily conversations. The double-entendres and jokes usually centre on George Pullicino's girth and politicians in the news. This time, the search for Franco Debono, Tonio Fenech's transformation from Santa to Scrooge (and jetting around) and our MEP's vagueness about electoral expenses featured prominently.

The plot is rather fuzzy and interrupted by singing and dancing, so that nobody really knows how successful or otherwise our hero/ine is on her quest - much as we don't have a clue as to whether life is improving or not. All in all I'd say the panto is a very apt metaphor for Maltese national life, and can't wait to see the rival productions.

I have to admit that the reality TV genre leaves me cold. I'd rather watch the ad breaks or the crazily cheerful presenters on Net or even their gloomy counterparts on One TV.

But - as is the case with most other genres, I guess the viewers' interest has to be sustained by introducing and maintaining an element of conflict and suspense throughout the proceedings.

If these elements are missing, the show will definitely fall flat. Even if the 'conflict' has to be manufactured - as is the case in the Italian Grande Fratello - it's necessary in order to sustain some level of interest.

Presumably, the love triangle and the furious bust-ups between the tattooed muscle man on the Italian show and the long-haired dandy is what keeps viewers glued to their seats and going back for more week after week.

This seems to have gone above the heads of the creators and producers of Iżolati. Just in case you missed it - that's the most recent reality show to hit our shores - and a bit of a take on L'Isola Dei Famosi (even the logo colours and typeface were lifted from the original isola).

Only in this case we had eight local 'celebrities' filmed camping on Comino. The omnipresent violin-playing Joseph Chetcuti was one of them, as was Ignatius Farrugia, and for some inexplicable reason, so was Mario Morales (are we the only country to find star material in teleshopping programmes?)

For four days the participants braved it out on Comino, while the presenters in the studio back home desperately tried to drum up interest by interviewing relatives and friends of the Comino crew. It was uphill going.

For starters, it's hard to see why we should engage with a bunch of over-excited campers who had absolutely nothing to do except ham it up for the cameras. They didn't have to spear any fish for breakfast, since entire boatloads of supplies were carried to the island.

They didn't even have to shelter from the elements as a deluxe tent had been erected for them. There was nothing left to do, except to jostle for the prime spot in front of the camera. This may pass for 'suspense' in the producers' book (Can Morales cop more camera minutes than Chetcuti? Will violin-playing trump Ignatius?) but not in anybody else's.

cl.bon@nextgen.net.mt