A few days ago a girl put up a photo on Facebook of the gifts her boyfriend had given her for her birthday. Among other things, she proudly displayed a makeup palette and a designer handbag; so far, so sweet.

What was less than lovely though were other women’s reactions to her birthday haul, with some saying that her boyfriend must either be imaginary or gay, others informing her that there is more to life than getting gifts, and a couple of lucky ladies stating that all they get from their husband is dirty underwear.

As they ranted and raved and liked each other’s sometimes envious and at other times downright vitriolic comments, what really stood out was the fact that many of these women were claiming that it isn’t gifts that are important, but mere respect.

Ladies, the fact of the matter is that if you don’t ask for more, you won’t get more

I confess that I’m still baffled by this. You see, as far as I’m concerned respect doesn’t mean that I don’t get verbally abused in the morning and evening, or that I am not treated like a hired maidservant. I would have thought that these are basic requirements for any union not to be miserable for at least one of the parties. No, respect is about caring enough about another person to want to acknowledge their importance in your life, if not every day, than at least once a year. The sad part is that it’s not even about the money.

Why is it that girls younger than me have no expectation from their partner? Why is it that they find it acceptable to receive nothing more than dirty laundry on a day that should objectively matter, and even worse, why do they feel the need to put down another woman for wanting more?

Gifts are a sign of love and appreciation, and the truth of the matter is that it doesn’t matter whether he spends two euros or two thousand. The fact that wo­men are happy to be with men who don’t take the time to che­rish them speaks of greater problems in our society than the ridiculous fact that men who buy their girlfriends make-up are decreed to be non-existent.

The birthday gift conundrum is merely a symbol of a much deeper rift – women and men now work equal hours yet the woman is still expected to keep the house in tiptop shape, put a meal on the table at a specific time, as well as sit with the children to do their homework, while many a man sits on the sofa and flicks through television channels to wind down after a hard day’s work.

Emancipation appears to have heaped more exhaustion on women everywhere, and while they careen forward, many men still can’t match their socks without their wives’ help.

Ladies, the fact of the matter is that if you don’t ask for more, you won’t get more. If it matters to you that you get a gift for your birthday and you don’t, maybe it’s time to change your partner, not your mind.