For all the criticism that is levelled against “modern society” – that morality is on the wane, that values are changing for the worse – standards have undoubtedly risen in many ways when it comes to our mores.

To take just one example, following on from what has been enshrined in anti-discrimination laws for a long time, it is now slowly becoming the norm to appreciate, rather than denigrate, other people’s religious beliefs. “Inclusivity” is even creeping into religious education at school in Malta.

At the same time, we no longer tolerate the sort of behaviour towards which once, not too long ago, a blind eye might have been turned, perhaps accompanied by a shrug of the shoulders denoting its “normality”. Domestic violence is one such behaviour.

A firm line, hopefully, has been drawn under spousal physical abuse when it comes to public perception of what is acceptable, with this, again, having been reflected in law for some time. Nowadays, women are under no illusion about wife battery. It is condemnable under any circumstances, not only in a court of law but also in the eyes of the public.

Whether they themselves accept to be subjected to it or take any action to counter it is a different issue. In a few cases, according to a recent Maltese study, a woman might justify being beaten by her husband on grounds that she has been unfaithful. But most women, most of the time, are convinced it is plain wrong. This constitues something of a milestone for society, for it was not always like this.

There is still much to be done, however, when it comes to other forms of domestic abuse. It appears that society has not yet advanced to the point where, for example, emotional maltreatment, forced sex or restricted freedom within a marriage are deemed to be as unacceptable as physical violence. According to the same study, most women still view “abuse” as being confined solely to “hitting, bruising and fractured bones”.

At a conference on the study, this finding was described as frightening for it showed that some women were living in denial of the abuse they were being subjected to. As surely as intolerance of domestic violence is an indication of societal progress, such an attitude probably reflects the widespread lack of awareness of the fact that, in many marriages, women are being forced into sexual relations against their will, deliberately caused emotional pain or made to suffer restrictions on their freedom. Would such behaviours be condemned unreservedly by all?

The study, a project by the Commission on Domestic Violence and the first to be carried out on a nationwide scale, is commendable not only for revealing the incidence of different types of spousal abuse but also for casting a spotlight on attitudes that remain to be changed. As always, education, public and school-based, must play a role in inculcating in boys and girls, men and women, the fact that certain limits are simply not to be overstepped within a relationship.

There is place for this sort of “awareness-raising” in marriage preparation courses. It should also be present in any national drive to strengthen marriages, that is if the initiative promised before the divorce referendum ever materialises. (There is a risk it will start to be seen as cynical, empty rhetoric.)

It is surprising how, with all the lip service paid to the value of respect for one’s partner, abuse of the emotional and sexual kind within marriage is still swept under the carpet.