The 857 guests were served nasty, fizzy screech and cholesterol on sticks
Talented still-life artist Gaby Bonacci Wellman invited a host of art experts and her friends (not the same thing) to the opening of her very first solo exhibition, Stems, at the brand new Girna gallery in a field somewhere in Mtaħleb.
She is showing a selection of her latest still-life watercolours of flowers, but with a difference. She has only painted each flower’s stems... none of the blooms are shown. Each painting therefore comprises a smudged brown line representing a stem, against a white background. Described by one – less than generous – art critic as resembling a series of skid marks.
The 857 guests who assembled in a field nearby (let’s face it, you’re not going to get 857 people into a girna... eight would be a reach), were served nasty, fizzy screech and cholesterol on sticks.
The exhibition was opened by distinguished art critic and dilettante, Kevin Sammut Zarbone, who likened Ms Bonacci Wellman to a young Van Gogh (Vincent’s older brother Norbert). He also praised the owner of this latest addition to Malta’s galleries, Bernice Torquemada Sant, for her enterprise, money and cheek.
Ms Bonacci Wellman’s solo exhibition ran until last Tuesday.
Miss Maltese Style and Fashion crowned in style
Miss Maltese Style and Fashion for 2013 was recently stylishly crowned in style in a glittering and stylish ceremony in the Enzo Gusman suite of the Grand Hotel Vulgarita, San Ġwann.
The five style-orientated finalists were judged on style, fashion sense, style, butt size and – of course – not forgetting... style.
A distinguished panel of judges comprised of (sic) distinguished model and actress Tania Slops-Mangion, Parliamentary Secretary for Beauty Contests Rafael Descartes Spiteri – and last but by no means least – that great Italian recording artiste Gianni Somnambula, who also treated the sell-out audience to a ‘rending’ of his Calabria-wide mega-hit single Cara ti amore.
The stylish winner of Miss Maltese Style and Fashion for 2013 was Stacy Selvaggi, 21, of San Ġwann, who – after being crowned Miss Maltese Style and Fashion 2013, announced that during the year of her reign she will strive towards world peace and would also like to work with children.
Soak ’n’ Sun Lido, San Ġwann, opens for the summer season
The ever-popular Soak ’n’ Sun Lido, San Ġwann, opened for the summer season recently amid a blaze of indifference with a summer pool party for around 900 distinguished invited guests – pictured above.
In a protracted address to the distinguished invited guests, the Hon Minister for Touristic Ephemera said: “It’s from these tings (sic) we need eh!”
After a lavish buffet was partaken of by the distinguished invited guests, these same distinguished invited guests were invited to partake in water sports... ahem! When there were no takers... everybody went home.
Forthcoming events for your diary:
• Friends of the Little Sisters of Unnatural Habits are reminded that the mechanical Christmas Crib in the oratory of the San Ġwann Basilica is still receiving visitors and offerings, and – contrary to rumours circulating in the parish – this is for the further delectation of parishioners and tourists alike – and not because the organisers just couldn’t be arsed to dismantle it.
• The San Ġwann pre-school sub aqua club will be organising an under-water treasure hunt in the Sumptua Palace Hotel swimming pool (shallow end) next Thursday. The San Ġwann scout troop will be on hand to fish out any children who have hunted unwisely, or who have strayed into the deep end.
Please bring your own armbands.
• There will be a Bring and Buy sale at the Marsascala Wasteserve waste recycling centre next Saturday from 8am to 4.30pm. All are welcome.
You give us your garbage – we’ll sell you ours.
• Distinguished local author Emmeline Snatch Grima will be reading from her latest romantic novel, Ninety Shades of Puce, in the oratory of the Ħas-Siġra parish church, next Wednesday at 7.30am. Entrance is free and open to everyone, except those of a nervous or narrow-minded disposition.
• St Kylie Private Geriatric Hospital will once again be running anti-flatulence classes for the over-80s, in the car park, Tuesdays and Fridays at 7pm.
Corks will be provided. Bring your own air fresheners.