Crowds of fashionistas turned out in their tens for the much-anticipated Malta fashion week, held in the Bunker Palace Hotel in downtown Pyongyang, North Korea.
Some of Malta’s finest and dumpiest models graced the reinforced catwalk in the latest and finest styles crafted by some of Malta’ finest couturiers.
Balaclavas by Giles and Leli were worn over flak jackets and camouflage fatigues by Scott and Challie of San Ġwann, with boots and light arms accessories by Wanda and Ġuza modes. An original touch was to have the catwalk covered in missile debris, requiring the models to pick their way through strategically placed detritus from unsuccessful missile launches.
Catering for the event was provided by the UN Food programme, while first aid and bandaging was courtesy of Médicines Sans Frontièrs.
Loads of family fun at Marsa abattoir
A good turnout was assured last Sunday as hundreds of happy, smiling families turned up at the Marsa abattoir for a family fun day. Organised by the Friends of the Biċċerija, the event guaranteed a family fun day for all.
Stalls selling everything from sausages to bone artefacts did brisk business as the family fun escalated throughout the day. Abattoir employees added to the family fun dressed as clowns and characters from Shrek and The Texas Chain-Saw Massacre.
Games were organised for families, such as giblet tossing and kirxa flailing, and every family fun attendee was invited to participate in a meat-mincing marathon... the winner taking away all she had managed to mince in the allotted time.
At the end of the day all family funsters was given a Biċċerija goody bag, containing minute steaks and assorted offal. And a thoroughly good time was had by all.
Ponggon launched at Drydocks party
Ponggon, a revolutionary new anti-perspirant and deodorant, was launched recently at a champagne party at Malta Drydocks. The local agents for Ponggon are Nice2Know products Ltd, San Ġwann,
Ponggon has been specifically designed for those unfortunate enough to stink like sewer rats. Its revolutionary new formula contains extra-strength superglue to seal up those offending and offensive pores.
Introducing this revolutionary new product to the assembled guests… hangers-on and the usual freeloaders… Nice2Know managing director Mr Ivan Segue Deguara said: “If you are not nice to know it could be because you’re just… not nice to know; or… it could be because you have a mega BO problem. Ponggon is the answer, even if you don’t know the question. Take advantage of our special introductory offer. Buy seven, get one free.”
Incidentally, the champagne wasn’t… they had the cheek to serve cheap local prosecco from Champagne bottles.
People
Mr Ernest (Vlad) Deguara Spiteri has returned to Malta after completing a postgraduate course in pure and applied vampirology at the University of Bucharest, Romania. He is shortly to take up a senior post at the Malta Blood Bank.
For your diary
• The Rent-a-Brat children’s summer play school, San Ġwann, opens for the summer season on Wednesday. A number of skilled child-minders are required. Applicants should be skilled in various methods of physical and psychological restraint, including martial arts and bribery.
• A rabbit-skinning marathon will be held next Friday in the yard of the Bunny-Boiler restaurant, San Ġwann. All are welcome.
• The San Ġwann Elderly Society will hold an over-80s break-dancing evening in the parish centre. Raffle and spot prizes. It will climax with refreshments for all participants, traction and counselling. Zimmer frames not provided.
• Bring and Buy sale next Sunday on the Santa Venera Bypass, from 8am till noon. Bring along all your old rubbish and tat, in order to buy someone else’s old rubbish and tat. Fun, fun, fun for all the family.
Apology
In our appreciation of the life of the late Mr Effie Grope Pisani last week, the sentence concerning his retirement should have read: “After leaving the Malta Drydocks Mr Pisani was often missed”. And not as we alluded that he was badly, erm… inebriated. Any distress caused is regretted.