This is a response to the plight of Charles Caruana Carabez in his letter Small Change (March 30).

Unbelievably, I have the opposite affliction to Mr Caruana Carabez, in that I cannot get enough small change (or any change for that matter). It is possible, I may have stumbled upon the perfect solution that will, no doubt, fill him with joy and make me ecstatic.

It is always said that the simplest solutions are the best and my idea is for him to give me all the superfluous “fidgety metal tokens filling his house” so that I may “go laughing” all the way to the bank. Giving to my charity (commonly known as ME) makes sense and, I can assure him, it is worth the bother.

Therefore, if Mr Caruana Carabez would kindly forward his address and advise on the size of vehicle I would require to remove this surplus money from his house I would feel it my citizen’s duty to make the necessary arrangements (free of charge).

After all, it would be a sad day if one could not help out a fellow human being at a time when he is experiencing such gargantuan problems.

Health and safety regulations prompt me to point out that I would not accept any legal liability if “anchor-less Charles” were to be “set about” by a gust of wind.