Having served for 35 years in parishes where cremation was the norm, I want to share my humble pastoral perspective about a custom that is prevalent in the US, and may soon be introduced in Malta.
Over the past 15 to 20 years, 80 per cent of funerals I conducted in New York and Oregon parishes were cremations. Most people see this as a more hygienic, less expensive and a highly acceptable way of seeing their loved ones buried. The majority of the people nearing the end of their life inform their family about their wish to be cremated.
It was very common in many of my parishes that the person concerned would meet the pastor when still healthy, to discuss details about the funeral. This would include the readings, the music, lectors and ministers to serve, the priest to lead the funeral, whether a brief eulogy is allowed and who will deliver it, and other details, including the method of burial. This helps a lot the immediate family when the person passes away, and the wishes of the deceased are fully respected.
If a wake service is held, usually the day before the actual funeral service, the urn with the cremains of the deceased are placed in a prominent place, surrounded by flowers and very often with a framed large photo of the deceased person. On the day of the funeral, the urn is brought to the church and treated exactly as if it were a coffin.
It is placed on a table close to the altar, again with flowers and a photo, with a paschal candle close by. After the welcoming prayers and initial blessing, usually a close member of the family carries the urn following the priest towards the altar. A white cloth, usually made of lace, covers the urn during the Mass, symbolic of the white baptismal robe given to a baby at baptism.
The Mass proceeds as usual, which includes the incensation, blessing with holy water and prayers, printed in book form by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops. Most of the prayers are the same as if the deceased were in a casket, with the difference being that instead of ‘body’, we use the word ‘cremains’.
In most cases the funeral then proceeds to the cemetery where the burial takes place with the same ritual. In the US, the remains are buried in the ground, covered with turf and with a gravestone placed at the head. Instead of a large rectangular grave, for the cremains, they dig a hole, one foot by one foot, and two feet deep. The the urn is placed there after the customary prayers.
Some families insist that they keep the urn at home on a mantelpiece or fireplace, but the rule of the Catholic Church is that the cremains are to be buried in the ground, just like any body in a casket. Some people prefer to spread the ashes on a lake, in a park which the deceased loved, or even in baseball fields, particular places the deceased liked during their life.
Usually the deceased leaves in writing or by word of mouth how the ashes are to be disposed of. However, the family sometimes decides to ignore this sacred wish and keeps the ashes at home.
If cremation is introduced in Malta, it has to come as a collaboration between the Church and State
Another popular option is to place the urn in a mausoleum or columbarium, literally from colomba (dove) as they look like decorative pigeon holes. These contain a series of drawers where the urn is placed. Each drawer usually has room for two urns, normally for both spouses, and there is enough space for a third or even a fourth urn.
These drawers are usually two feet by two feet and placed on the wall, from the floor all the way to the ceiling. The drawers that are at eye-level are usually a little more expensive than the ones up high. The name of the deceased and dates of birth and death are engraved on each drawer.
A small container with flowers is often placed on the outside. Some of the drawers are covered with glass instead of marble, giving the whole place a see-through experience, where people may also place photos and other mementos.
Initially, in the 1980s, I was very uneasy celebrating Mass with an urn instead of a casket, but by the early 1990s, they became more common, and we are now surprised whenever a casket is brought into the church. People have accepted cremations, as I know they will accept them if they are introduced in Malta.
Many may ask: what do the ashes or cremains look like? Well, once someone gave me some cremains to spread in a cemetery. To appease the family, I obliged and spread a tiny amount on sacred ground. I myself was curious to see what they looked like, and to my surprise, the tiny amount looked like quinoa or grains of sand.
Just a few weeks before I left the US last year, after a funeral I had performed with the cremains of a parishioner, the funeral director came over to me and gave me a cheque of $350 for the church. Since we do not charge for funerals, but always accept a donation, if the family wishes, I was not sure what this large amount was for. When I opened the envelope I found out that it was written by a Titanium Company of Oregon.
I called the funeral director and he explained to me the reason. Okay, fasten your seat-belts folks!
He told me that when a person had an artificial hip, knee or shoulder and is to be cremated, they have to take out the titanium and the artificial prosthesis which would otherwise cause problems to the crematorium if left in the body.
The titanium is then melted and reused for another artificial hip or knee. The best part of this is that the titanium is sold to the company, which issues a cheque for the amount and given to the church that celebrated the funeral.
Finally, I believe that if cremation is introduced in Malta, it has to come as a collaboration between the Church and State. No doubt the Church and its parishes will adapt to the idea of cremation, but the State has to finally accept the fact that cremations are the way to go.
Building a crematorium is not a massive undertaking, but a very possible project. Moreover erecting a series of columbariums is a must. Besides, it saves a lot of space on our island which is becoming smaller even to accommodate burials. For each local burial plot, one can build a columbarium that can fit as many as 20 to 40 spots, depending on how high it’s allowed to go.