In my younger, far-off days I have vague recollections of the massive pop culture/television hit that was Dallas. This was when 90 per cent of the country, including my parents, would bring out the popcorn and for an odd hour or two pretend they were somewhere in Texas, on what I dubbed cheese-and-soap night. It also meant that I’d be banished from the room, as (probably wisely) I was deemed too young for soaps.
The oil/cigar/ bitches-dripping- diamonds plotline worked beautifully in the climate of the 1980s- Ramona Depares
However, I do remember the jokes and the onslaught of Dallas-inspired names that used to do the rounds at the time (I know a lot of JR and Sue Ellen acquaintances).
I remember the disbelief when Dallas jumped the shark and kept killing off some of the protagonists only to bring them back again.
At least I think it was Dallas, as opposed to Dynasty, which was sort of the main rival of the day. My memory may be getting a tad confused.
But I digress. The point I’m trying to make here is that I recently discovered that Dallas – shock, horror – is back. I say recently, but apparently this sequel phenomenon has been going on for the past months. It just took me a bit long to latch on to this because I don’t have very particularly well-developed antennae for 1980s/1970s cheesy soaps.
I only have one question here: Why? Has the television industry reached such an all-time low that nothing but stretching out a plotline that was already tired in the first place will do? But I’m being unfair. The oil/cigar/bitches-dripping-diamonds plotline worked beautifully in the climate of the 1980s, when it all seemed so grand and unobtainable and we were so isolated that the idea of Texas probably seemed kind of cool.
Not any more. Why on earth would any of today’s viewers want to be lumped with more boring stories about the Ewing family feud? The series actually brings back Patrick Duffy in the star role of Bobby Ewing in all his grey-haired glory.
Of course, all my ranting is pretty much useless because sadly, ratings show that the present generation and the survivors from the 1970s remain very much into this kind of thing and are more than happy to have yet another generation of Ewings foisted upon them.
If not from an artistic point of view, producers TNT seem to be on to a good thing from a financial one. Fans assure me that the new plotline keeps everything within the family that everyone loves to hate. Only, of course, everyone is prettier and younger and brasher. Well, everyone except the old-timers like Duffy and Larry Hagman, that is.
My curiosity got the better of me and I couldn’t resist a sneak peak at the poster on IMDB. As expected, it’s a glitzy, chavstatic affair, with six, half-naked, towel-clad hot chicks and six-packed lads and two old geezers plonked right in the middle.
Disturbingly, said old geezers (Duffy and Hagman) are also half-naked and towel-clad. Definitely an unhappy start that will have the more sensitive among viewers reaching for the sick bag.
I swear I did try to give it a go in the interest of research. However, even I have my limits as to what I’m prepared to go through for my readers. And, sitting through Dallas when I didn’t even watch the original does not fall within those limits. It’s already more than bad enough knowing that Roger Daltrey of The Who, a band I have immense respect for, is reputed to be a massive fan of both the old and the new series. Really Daltrey, with your taste in music, I would have expected a similar standard in television shows.
However, if there’s one part where Dallas veteran Duffy nailed the nail right on the head, it’s with a comment he recently gave to The Independent:
“There’s so much reality television and so many musical contests. This is good old-fashioned drama. It’s sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat kind of fun. I think people need to have fun and not root for somebody to be eliminated.”
And in this at least, I can’t say I disagree with the man.
rdepares@timesofmalta.com