Last year, Anti-Bullying Services – a specialised government unit – received 254 reports, while the Education Ministry recently launched a policy to address this growing problem, reports Claudia Calleja.

A woman noticed something was wrong with her son when he would return home after school and start crying for no apparent reason. He then displayed aggressive behaviour towards his sister.

After a while she noticed that her son, who was five, had bruises on various parts of his body. It was only then that she realised he was being bullied.

The boy, now 13 and attending a State school, is still the target for bullies, his mother says. He is often singled out when teachers are not around and, despite various school meetings, the situation persists.

At first the boy refused to speak about it and refused to go to school. But now, he is approaching the matter differently and has started to fight back.

“Boys push him, hit him or even grab his flabby chest – since he is chubby – then they run away. Now he’s started hitting back,” says his mother, adding she was glad to hear about the policy and hopes it will make a difference.

The policy states that teachers will have to report suspected cases of bullying to a designated member of staff within the school, who will investigate the matter. The policy makes it clear that parents have to be brought in to address the problem.

Vigilant parents

Parents need to be extremely vigilant and keep their eyes open for signs suggesting their child is a victim of bullying or a perpetrator, according to educational and child psychologist Victor Martinelli.

“Every parent has to assume their child is being a bully or is being bullied. Be on the lookout, as a child might not show you at home,” he says.

Children can go on for years being bullied without speaking up, out of shame or pride.

As in the case of the 13-year-old boy, some children deal with it and start hitting back but others do not and end up getting marginalised, Dr Martinelli says.

To make matters worse, most bullying takes place away from teachers’ direct sphere of surveillance – like buses, the playground and through social media.

Dr Martinelli says it is also important to be aware that boys tend to be more physical in the way they bully, while girls are more subtle and exclude each other. The latter can be more damaging, especially given that it is less visible.

For these reasons, parents need to know what to look out for (see box), he says, adding it is also important to have staff trained to cope with bullying in schools.

Better equipped schools

Malta Union of Teachers president Kevin Bonello believes school heads need to be given the authority to take whatever disciplinary action they feel is necessary to address bullying.

Unfortunately, he adds, heads of schools often face interference – sometimes from college principals – and do not have a free hand to decide on whether a child deserves to be, for example, suspended for a day.

He welcomed the new anti-bullying policy but added that he hoped this was accompanied by a document that gave schools more authority. He also agreed that the policy needed to have parents on board – echoing the words of Education Minister Evarist Bartolo.

“Parents need to realise that 70 per cent of the children’s formation comes from home... Perhaps the time has come to fine parents who do not take an interest in their children’s behaviour and education,” he said, stressing that these were extreme cases that were not limited to State schools.

But what if these parents have social problems themselves and no clue how to handle their children?

“If you are going to bring children into the world and take social benefits for it, the least you can do is attend a parenting course,” Mr Bonello stressed.

Beware of labelling

A personal and social development (PSD) teacher at a State school went on to add that perhaps it was time for schools to offer support and counselling to students without necessarily obtaining parents’ signatures.

While it was important to keep parents informed, sometimes they did not know what was best for their children, she said.

While it was positive that the policy required that teachers report cases of bullying, teachers had to be careful not to label children as “bullied” or “bully”, she said.

Boys push him, hit him or even grab his flabby chest – since he is chubby – then they run away

“This has to be done sensitively so as not to put a label on the child,” she said.

In her experience, the bully is often bullied at home or neglected. While, in these cases, the bully had to be given support, it was also important to teach the bully that their actions had consequences.

Agreeing with Dr Martinelli, she said students often did not admit that they were being bullied.

Another PSD teacher said that children nowadays came with complex social issues and schools were not equipped to deal with them.

He witnessed children get picked on because of their family background, financial situation, looks and sexuality.

“There was one girl who wanted to be a boy. She was disgusted in her own body. She vented it by bullying other girls,” the teacher recounted.

Social media and cyber bullying posed a whole new challenge, he said, adding that one student was expelled for threatening another girl’s life on Facebook.

Teachers were not immune from harassment, he added, stating that they faced sexual jokes and vandalism, among other things. The teachers’ union received one to two reports of cyber bullying of educators each month.

“One of the biggest problems in the education system is that nowadays teachers are serving as educators, social workers and parental figures. We are not trained for all this, and the low pay does not attract new teachers to the challenging job,” the teacher said.

Tell-tale signs

How to tell when your child is being bullied...

• Unexplainable injuries
• Missing or damaged belongings
• Suffering frequent headaches or stomach aches
• Faking illness to avoid school
• Losing former interest in school and schoolwork
• Changes in eating habits
• Nightmares and problems sleeping
• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem