The rise and rise of the metrosexual continues, with today’s generation typically taking twice as long as your average female to make it out of the house. Adam Brimmer insists the damage was done a long while ago.
If you’ve failed to come across the term metrosexual in the past two decades, and are wondering why we’re discussing sex in train stations, allow me to explain. Political correctness go hang, let’s tell it how it is. At its core, people typically understand the term metrosexual as one that refers to a straight man, who seemingly sports homosexual traits – hey, don’t lynch me, I’m just reporting the facts here.
The most famous of them all being David Beckham, who seemingly never wears the same thing twice
People talk about the rise of the metrosexual as being a fairly recent thing. But is it? Men have been actively seeking to look good for quite some time now; is it the habit that has changed or the style itself?
The typical metrosexual is the well-groomed individual with the eye for detail; a dapper gentleman in designer clothes; the inability to walk past a mirror without checking up on the hairdo or the fit of those skinny jeans.
The term was in fact coined in the early 1990s to refer to a man of whatever sexual persuasion who spends a lot of time and money on his appearance. And there I was, thinking we already had a word for that – ‘woman’.
The meaning gradually evolved, and we have that greatest demon of all to thank – marketing agencies. Do you remember the old shaving adverts? Men running to catch trains, winning stuff on Wall Street (you win stuff there, right?) and running to embrace their woman in the street in semi-slow motion?
Whiskey adverts, car adverts, coffee adverts, they all told the same stories: “This stuff is about success.” It was the only way you’d get a guy to buy something, apparently. You’re not allowed to fuss with your hair unless it brings success. There was the time you’d walk into a shoe shop, ask for “that one” in your size and be out of there in less than 10 minutes, because heaven forbid you were caught “shopping” by your mates.
But now we have metrosexuals. “That’s OK everyone,” say the marketing departments, dribble falling off the edge of their mouths. “You can go out and buy stuff because vain is the new success!”
Men, you can wear pink shirts, have a shoe collection and be choosy about what perfume you wear without being judged! Yes, you can wear perfume! It has helped the cause that supposedly ‘rugged’ types have converted to the lifestyle. The most famous of them all being David Beckham, who seemingly never wears the same thing twice. As someone who changed his hairstyle every other season, prompting tribes of lads to mimic him, you could say he’s the metrosexual messiah.
Lenny Kravitz also reportedly takes extreme care to maintain his bohemian look, with practically everything he wears, be it jewellery or leather jackets, being custom-made for him.
Thing is this is old hat, don’t you be fooled. Throughout the annals of time, it’s always been men who have been more concerned about their appearance. From pharaohs to crusader kings, it’s not the women who demanded the ostentatious bling.
Just look at the last few centuries of military uniforms: bright colours, shiny buttons and feathers! The concern seems to have been what you’d be caught dead in as opposed to not. After all, Archduke Franz Ferdinand may have survived his assassination in 1914 had he not been sewn shut into his own suit to prevent any creases from showing.
It’s the women who are traditionally seen as being fragile, delicate creatures, who must be locked away lest harm befall them. Fashion was highly limited and if you even had the vaguest sense of puritanism then it’s black from the neck down. We may go on about burkas, but it was not so long ago that married women required veils. Does anyone remember the għonnella?
The success of AMCs Mad Men series has spawned a lot of period dramas, each fighting to be more historically accurate than the other. It seems like every leading man strives to appear sharp as a razor like Jon Hamm’s Donald Draper, with his perfectly Brylcreemed hairdo and (presumably) constant visits to the barber to keep it trimmed.
Even Steve Buscemi, who has a face full of (let’s call it) character, manages to communicate an incredible amount of majesty with his 1920’s character Nucky Thompson from Boardwalk Empire. Browse the archives – men have been working hard to look good from Lennon to Bowie.
So why does this feel like innovation? What is it that sparked the term metrosexual? The answer is apparent to anyone born before 1979. The answer is the 1980s, where hair was intentionally frayed and messy, clothes looked better torn and colours clashed for the sake of clashing; where fashion and common taste went to die, and the rise of the stereotypical, movie, blue-collar, tough guy, who works at a steel mill, emerged as the setter of trends – gruff, cheap and fiercely homophobic.
I’ll favour the traditionalists over that point of view.