When it comes to controversial subjects like politics, hunting, trapping, asylum seekers, football teams, we are not shy about airing our views: criticise my pet and my wrath will be great and loudly expressed.

Why then does no one ever seem to publicly defend petards? Every summer there are numerous letters and articles condemning these mind-numbingly monotonous and noisy things but I don’t recall anyone ever writing in their defence or in praise of them. I have asked many people but have never found a single soul who doesn’t claim to loathe them with a vengeance.

So, if there actually is someone out there who likes them, would they please write in and tell the country what exactly is good about petards? I would like to know and am unable to think of even one thing in their favour. As for the ‘against’ side, don’t get me started.

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