I am crouched inside a model of the stomach. I slid in here down the oesophagus, landing on some gigantic cushions in the shape of various food stuffs.
The spectacular mountain ranges of extinct volcanoes rise into the clouds, ensuring a decent supply of cool air even when the sun is at its hottest- Helen Raine
My son, having hurled himself around the stomach walls for a while, is now hurtling towards the exit, another slide which presumably goes towards the intestines. This is the Children’s Discovery Centre in Honolulu and it is keiki (‘kid’ in Hawaiian) heaven.
The imagination required by the creators of the centre to transform a tumbledown incinerator into a place where children can become anything from a vet to a digesting food particle is impressive; the little visitors here are making the most of it.
In the pretend theatre, some of them are operating the lights and music while others dance on stage, having dressed themselves up as starfish.
In the newsroom, kids film each other reporting the weather. And upstairs, they visit make-believe houses from a dozen countries, sample their plastic food and harvest the fruit from their gardens.
My visit here really sets the tone for seeing the rest of Honolulu, because it’s an absolutely brilliant place for families.
The city has got some natural advantages. It’s the state capital with all the attendant urban sprawl, but the high rises are offset by strings of long, white sand beaches that run for miles. So I go from shopping in the world’s largest outdoor shopping mall to sitting on a beach filled with laughing Hawaiian children in a matter of metres.
Looking behind me, the spectacular mountain ranges of extinct volcanoes rise into the clouds, ensuring a decent supply of cool air even when the sun is at its hottest.
The famous Waikiki beach is usually seen as a Honolulu ‘must do’ for families but despite being a veritable tourist mecca, Waikiki is a little duller than I’d expected.
It has a lively nightlife, some good quality chain hotels, a preponderance of outfits like Starbucks and a fairly standard, urban beach, but the laid-back surfer vibe I am hoping for has long since disappeared.
We do find a couple of Waikiki spots worth stopping at though.
The Hilton Hotel is surprisingly fun, in a manufactured kind of way, with several pools of ornamental carp proving fascinating to our toddler.
Rather incongruously, we also stumble across an enclosure of black-footed penguins, hiding out from the sun in little fake-rock burrows. There are flamingos and scarlet ibis lurking behind some of the manicured bushes and a night heron making the most of the free food in the fish ponds.
Better still is our find of the restaurant Eggs ’n’ Things. The name might not be very promising, but the long queue for a table is. The restaurant has become so popular, that diners are welcomed in the shop downstairs.
We are given an automatic flashing buzzer which detonates when a table becomes available.
The next 20 minutes are spent placating a hungry child and willing the thing to go off; its lights go maniacally round, but the buzzer singularly fails to chime, even after I take it back to the counter to check if it is working.
When it does finally spring to life, the wait is more than worth it. Our waiter arrives within seconds, literally singing the specials and touting welcome iced water.
The menu sounds standard at first: omelettes and pancakes proliferate, with a few steak or chicken options. But when the food arrives, I see what all the fuss is about.
These are no ordinary pancakes. They are ludicrously fluffy, topped with an orchard of fruit and slathered in a pond of maple syrup.
The omelettes drip thick cheese, spices and Portuguese sausage and are redolent of a former era of plantation kitchens and good home cooking. The chips are ‘home fries’, more like roast potatoes, and they crunch then melt.
Perhaps it is just because we are hungry, but everything tastes divine and gets the double thumbs up from our offspring, who is simultaneously clutching a potato in one hand and a free crayon and colouring book in the other.
Sated with Waikiki’s slightly corny atmosphere, I head down the main strip to Kapiolani Park where the beach traffic thins out and the trees provide the perfect shade under which to build sandcastles, and the relaxed holiday feeling is restored.
It’s part of Honolulu’s unique paradisiacal charm just to sit in the sun, chatting with strangers and watching the kids splash in the water- Helen Raine
Kapiolani is also home to the zoo, where we make friends with Hawaii’s state bird, the nene. The world’s rarest goose, they originally evolved from the Canada goose about 500,000 years ago (another evolutionary offshoot also created the flightless giant Hawaii goose, now extinct).
Having evolved without predators, these geese were easy game (hence the extinction of the even more vulnerable flightless geese after the arrival of man to the islands) and by the 1950s, there were just 40 birds left. There are now over 2,000 on the islands of Kauai, Maui and the Big Island, a major success story, and these comical birds wander around the zoo grounds utterly unfazed by visitors large and small.
Some of the animals are looking a little forlorn in the zoo, particularly the elephants, but the Keiki or children’s zoo is excellent. My son dives straight into tunnels designed specifically to be a bit too narrow for adults. They run under some spectacular fish tanks, plunging him into an entirely dry underwater world; fissures allow him to pop his head up periodically to check I am still there.
Somewhere under there, he vanishes for an absurdly long time. I can hear him, but he’s not for coming out. Just as I am contemplating whether, at seven months pregnant, I will have to go potholing after him, he is finally persuaded to emerge with the promise of not just an ice-cream but the chance to pet a host of small animals.
We stroll further east through Kapiolani Park to reach the Waikiki Aquarium. Designed with children in mind, there are lower viewing portals and little steps up to the tanks.
The toddler comes face to face with a zebra shark and his eyes follow it, transfixed, for a good five minutes. He is also very excited to spot ‘Nemo’ hiding out in an anemone.
Of course, what he really wants is to get wet and/or dirty, so being allowed to fish out some rockpool creatures in the outdoor ‘Edge of the Reef’ exhibit is the perfect finale.
Fun though the attractions are, Honolulu’s real selling point is that there is really no need to go anywhere in particular to enjoy yourself.
The toddler is entertained for hours on the beach and the incredible friendliness of the locals means you’re never alone for long; other families frequently join us, sharing toys and food for a couple of hours before returning all items to their rightful owners.
This would seem a bit odd on a European beach, but it rapidly becomes clear that it’s the norm here. It’s part of Honolulu’s unique paradisiacal charm just to sit in the sun, chatting with strangers and watching the kids splash in the water while surfers sail effortlessly on the waves behind.