If mothers are more willing to let go of their children and trust that their husbands will be equally able to take care of them, then work-life balance will be easier to achieve, according to the Diocesan Family Commission president.

Rita Borg Xuereb believes “there is a tendency for fathers to be more involved in the labour market because mothers do not trust their husbands with childcare”.

This was not a problem in Malta alone but in several other countries including America, she said, addressing a conference on work-life balance at the Phoenicia Hotel. It was held to mark marriage week by Proġett Impenn, the task force set up by the commission to work for stronger marriages.

Dr Borg Xuereb, who also heads a department at the University’s Midwifery Faculty, said: “It’s nicer if fathers are involved, not just by helping but sharing, because women are ending up doing two full-time jobs. However, mothers have to learn to let go.”

This contrasts with the recent study, The Price Of Motherhood, carried out by the University’s Centre for Labour Studies. When The Times referred Dr Borg Xuereb to these findings she said she was not aware of the study.

The study found that this “motherhood mandate” did not simply come from mothers but was a mentality ingrained in the psyche of societies typical of the Mediterranean region and of countries influenced by the Catholic Church. In fact, it recommends the country invest in an education campaign to change social norms.

When asked whether the commission had any plans vis-à-vis such a campaign, Dr Borg Xuereb said it regularly held conferences apart from the Festa Familja every May.

Those attending the conference were mainly senior citizens; not exactly the target audience for a work-life balance debate. When asked if this worried her, Dr Borg Xuereb replied: “We advertise the events but young couples are very busy. However, we hope people here will pass on the message.”

She urged couples to be “generous” and “brave” to boost the rate of low childbirth and pointed out that depression was on the increase and society should therefore strive to make lifestyles less stressful.

Archbishop Paul Cremona said he believed the Church was not putting pressure on women to stay at home: “Pressure comes not from the Church but from society. There is a lot of pressure on the couple who decides the woman will stay at home.”

He called for work measures to be not just family-friendly but also marriage-friendly. “A married couple needs to have enough time to build the relationship between them.”

More practical recommendations on work-life balance were forthcoming from Malta Employers Association’s director general, Joseph Farrugia, who stressed the need to promote the culture of flexibility to encourage more women to join the labour market.

“The MEA contends it is better to allow more flexible work arrangements between employers and employees rather than enforce conditions indiscriminately,” he said.

According to MEA statistics, 79 per cent of requests to Maltese employers for family-friendly measures were treated on a case-by-case basis. The majority of them were for reduced working hours and flexi-time. Mr Farrugia said 30 per cent of the workers said their requests had been turned down.

A married couple, Mark and Nadya Cassar, who have an 11-month-old baby, spoke of how they juggled work and family life. They opted for a teaching career due to its flexibility.

Couples urged to be generous and brave to boost rate of low childbirth in Malta

Mrs Cassar, who was previously an auditor, said she went into teaching because she realised her long working hours “were not allowing them as a couple to have time for each other”.

Mr Cassar said he never saw his father when he was a child: “Apart from his full-time job he did part-time work and even worked on weekends.” This, he said, made him determined he would not repeat the pattern with his own children.

“Work-life balance is something that requires constant planning. And it’s best to start talking about it during courtship and not when you get married so, at least, you have an idea of how it’s going to work out,” he said.