Twenty hopefuls take to the stage in tonight’s semi-final and most of the island will be watching how they get on. Kristina Chetcuti has been listening to the songs on a loop and is ready to dish out her views on who should be chosen to fly Malta’s flag in the Eurovision Song Contest held in Denmark later this year.
Romina Mamo – Addictive
Romina takes the mike and tells us in no uncertain terms: “Here I’m standing and I’m demanding”. Of course she sings this in a faux-American drawl: “here I’m stendin and I’m demendin”. It’s a rhyme-fest song. She makes one “demend” after the other for “one more minute together”. Whoever you are, please just give it to her.
Davinia – Brand New Day
Pink magazine had labelled her as “the girl with the husky voice”. But there is none of that here. In fact, quite the opposite: she puts on this cutie littl’ girlie kind of voice. Quite catchy refrain though, full of ‘ooh ooh ooh’ and ‘boom boom boom’.
Firelight – Coming Home
I like this. It’s cute. It’s indie. And there’s someone playing a weird instrument – always a must in Eurovision. With a bit more oomph it would be our own very Mumford & Sons.
Raquel – Invisible
She takes her cue from the Cranberries singer and leaves half her syllables out when singing. And I’m finding myself trying to mouth the words instead of her.
Sophie DeBattista – Let The Sunshine In
The Malta Tourism Authority will be the only one delighted if this song wins – it’s the perfect soundtrack to a tourist promotion video.
Amber – Because I Have You
Bye-bye Amy Winehouse, hello Celine Dion. Not a whiff of Amber’s usual jazzy style this year – instead we get a run-of-the-mill Eurovision ballad, the kind where you can imagine the backdrop full of stars, with a blazing fire on the side.
Ryan Paul Abela – City Lady
Aha. A Gianluca wannabe. Only he’s 80s funk instead of 70s indie pop, and with cringing diction. “How I love the tings that mejk you specjal”. He goes on about this ‘city lady “I see your face in every place. I see you walk, I hear you talk.” Frankly, if I was her, I’d become a farmer.
Jessika – Hypnotica
The lyrics are by Gerard James Borg, who was still thinking of his Sliema Wives when he penned these “seven shades of you” lyrics. I love her shoulder twerk dance move. I’m calling it shwerk (in Maltese n. xwerka, v. tixwerkja).
Fabrizio Faniello – Just No Place Like Home
Fabrizio, Fabrizio. He’s like our Eurovision mascot. This time he sings about being alone, fighting back the tears, begging to be let out because he’s in a place where it’s hard to breathe, and he’s facing a wall of sadness. All performed with a huge grin on a very happy face. You’d think he’s singing about ‘Summer Nights’ all over again.
Franklin Calleja – Love Will Take Me Home
The spitting image of Glenn Vella, Franklin stands a good chance of signing a contract with Disney for their next movie soundtrack.
Christabelle – Lovetricity
Echoes of Slovenia’s entry last year, Straight Into Love. It’s the kind of song that can only get the audience’s attention if the singer is trapped in a glass box, tied up with electricity cables and then saved by a man dressed up as a bare-chested feathered bird.
Chris Grech – Now And Oblivion
This reminds me of ditties such as True Colours by Cyndi Lauper and Goo Goo Dolls’ Iris. Despite his crooning, my heart does not flutter.
DeBee – Pin In The Middle
Finally, something we haven’t heard already. This original piece is my absolute favourite. A very interesting composition, beautiful voice and the singer has such a free spirit feel around her.
Wayne William – Some Kind Of Wonderful
I’m afraid I dozed off somewhere after the first verse. I think he listens way too much to Bryan Adams and Ronan Keating. Very romantic lyrics, but he delivers it all, in err, one great whine. Detox from ballads on doctor's orders, Wayne darlin’.
Corazon – Ten
Oh dear, these are wrist-slitting lyrics. Can’t imagine the backdrop to this song if it makes it to Denmark. Huge flashing number tens? Maybe it will hypnotise jury into giving us dix points?
Andreana Debattista – Now And Forever
This year’s jazzy entry. It’s good for Friday nights at Bridge Bar but not for the Ta’ Qali tent.
Daniel Testa – One Last Ride
He wants to win the Eurovision... of two years ago. Too late. Pity, for the refrain is catchy, and he looks like he would be a hit with grandmothers.
Miriam Christine – Safe
And another ballad. “I long for your protection”, “this love has no restriction”. It can be ‘safely’ taken up by Durex for a promo campaign.
Pamela – Take Me
From the composer of Gianluca, we get this piece of... very repetitive music. No tomorrow for this song.
Deborah C – Until We Meet Again
My ears went numb. This is completely uninspiring and my eyes glaze as she twirls on stage. As she aptly puts it in her last verse: “Goodbye and I’ll wait until we meet again…”
Disclaimer: The reviews were based on the pre-recorded clips available on www.tvm.com.mt/eurovision. Past performance is no guarantee of future results.