If England do qualify for the 2014 World Cup in Brazil – and that remains very much in the balance – the chances are it will be on the back of a horribly unconvincing qualifying campaign.
England’s inability to raise their game when it is needed is a serious cause for concern
Six matches into the process and Roy Hodgson’s team have only managed a couple of victories over San Marino and one against Moldova, two teams that would probably lose even if their opponents forgot to turn up.
Against the more serious teams in the group – Poland, Ukraine and Montenegro – England have scraped three draws. And frankly, this inability to raise their game when it is needed is now becoming a serious cause for concern.
Optimists may take the glass half-full approach and point out that England are undefeated so far. But to do so would be papering over the cracks, many of which were on display against Montenegro last week.
For the first 45 minutes of that game England were in control. They looked comfortable and organised, having been settled down by Wayne Rooney’s early goal.
But when Montenegro changed their tactics and came out fighting in the second half, England’s previous assured approach fell to pieces. Had Montengro gone on to win the match it would not have been an entirely flattering result.
Hodgson has pointed out that England’s fate is still in their own hands and he is absolutely right. But I am not sure it is a pair of hands I would trust with very much at this point in time.
Despite having home advantage for the more crucial of their remaining games, England are going to have to put in some big performances if they want to grab top spot. Automatic qualification, which looked a near certainty when the group was drawn, is now hanging by a thread.
Traditionally, of course, England make relatively light work of their qualifying group. This, in turn, causes much misplaced optimism among England fans that is cruelly shattered at the main tournament.
I can only hope Hodgson is trying to reverse that process: scrape through the qualifying campaign and save all the decent performances for when it really, really matters.
The ability to clutch at straws becomes second nature as an England fan, doesn’t it…?
Out of orders
Team orders at this stage of the season? Has Formula One gone stark raving mad?
I don’t like team orders at the best of times but I can just about tolerate them when the situation suggests they make sense. Like towards the end of the season when only one of a team’s drivers has a realistic chance of winning the title, for example.
But in the second race of the season? That is just ludicrous and I really don’t blame Sebastian Vettel for treating the order to let Mark Webber win the Malaysian Grand Prix with the contempt it deserved.
If Vettel had a legitimate chance of winning the race (which he did), then he should have been allowed to push his team mate all the way to the chequered flag. That is, unless I am greatly mistaken, what the concept of racing is all about.
Meanwhile, although the feud between Vettel and Webber was the big talking point of the race, for me the highlight in Malaysia was Lewis Hamilton’s pit stop fail.
The 2008 world champion pulled into the McLaren pit box expecting the poised mechanics to give his car some love, care and attention. Sadly, he had forgotten he no longer drives for McLaren but is now a Mercedes employee.
“I don’t know how that happened. The teams look so similar. I have been stopping in that pit box for years. It’s an easy mistake and hopefully one I won’t make again,” he said.
Hamilton can take some consolation from knowing this sort of ‘ex-team’ incident is not limited to motor racing.
Having watched Hamilton’s gaffe, football legend Gary Lineker tweeted about a similar experience he had during his playing career.
“First game for Everton was at my old club Leicester. At half time I walked into Leicester’s dressing room. They hammered me. And beat us 3-1,” he said.
It happens to the best of them apparently…
Hammer’s half-billion gift
I don’t know about you but I am not entirely comfortable with the way West Ham United have essentially been ‘gifted’ the Olympic Stadium.
Despite it costing more than £600 million (€711m) to build, the Hammers were awarded a 99-year lease for just £15 million (€18m) up front and an annual rent of £2 million (€2.4m). Absolute peanuts.
When you consider that not too far away, Arsenal had to spend close to £400 million (€474m) on building their new stadium, it doesn’t seem particularly fair that West Ham should be gifted one for next to nothing.
It gives West Ham a huge commercial advantage over their rivals. While other clubs have been spending money on bricks and mortar, they can spend their cash on players and wages.
As fans we are used to the idea of rich foreigners coming into English football, splashing the cash and making the playing field decidedly uneven.
But now the British Government has started doing it too…
Southend of the road
Of all the managerial sackings there have been this season – and there have been no shortage of them – the one that took place at Southend United last week was probably the strangest.
Paul Sturrock, who has been in charge of the League Two club for almost three years, was relieved of his duties and replaced just hours later by former Hull boss Phil Brown.
Pretty normal for the cut-throat world of football management, I hear you cry. True. But what is not normal is that despite being fired, Southend chairman Ron Martin asked Sturrock to manage the team one last time at Wembley next weekend in the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy final. Martin said he believed it was only right as Sturrock had guided them to the final.
But on that basis wouldn’t it also have been fair to let Sturrock finish the season seeing as it was him that guided the team to within six points of the play-offs?
This situation is made all the more baffling by the fact that Sturrock’s contract runs out in the summer anyway and neither party were planning to renew it. So a natural parting of ways was already in place.
After initially agreeing to the weird manager-for-a-day plan, former Southampton and Sheffield Wednesday manager Sturrock has since declined the offer.
On the one hand, opportunities to manage a team at Wembley don’t come around too often for lower league bosses. But on the other hand, the idea of managing another man’s team on a one-off occasion probably felt a bit dirty.
It’s like going through a nasty separation and then being asked back by your ex for a one-night stand while her new partner watches from the sidelines…
Nigel’s rash decision
Although I am happy to see Nigel Adkins back in football management after the despicable way he was treated by Southampton, I am not convinced that taking the Reading job was the best move he could have made.
Of course, he could work instant miracles and keep them in the Premier League. Stranger things have happened.
Realistically, however, it looks far more likely that he will end the season with a relegation on his CV. He will have little or no responsibility for it but nevertheless that’s what the record books will show.
If I had been Adkins, I would have hung on till the end of the season.
The way things have been going in terms of managerial sackings, who knows what jobs might become available over the next few weeks.
Southampton maybe…
sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com
Twitter: @maltablade