You are what you pretend to be. In which case, I’m a rich, handsome, intelligent men’s man. Of course, I can afford to say this because you can’t see me. Well, you actually can, right there, in the top left corner, wearing the kind of smile that I only use when I don’t know where to look, and a pair of spectacles that no longer see the light of day (an incident involving the dog and my dim idea of placing the glasses inside my bedroom slippers so I wouldn’t lose them for the umpteenth time).

Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don’t they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the internet- Comedian Dennis Miller

And that’s embarrassing, really. As embarrassing as any sliver of reality usually is. Because what is normal to you in first person can be quite a pickle when exposed to the third person.

In much the same way, what’s interesting to you isn’t necessarily throat-grabbing, face-slapping titillating to others. You may find stamp collecting fascinating, but it brings me out in a rash of yawns.

And I’m sure that you’ve spent thousands on pimping your ride, and that brake calipers could make for an interesting Sunday morning conversation, but I can’t even open the car boot without calling the tow truck. So why insist on telling mechanically challenged me about it?

But that’s what we are all doing – tweeting and updating our Facebook status with things which should be kept hidden in our (metaphorical) inside jacket pocket, either because they’re embarrassing, personal, or just not interesting to others.

Not to mention the kind of status updates that have so many typos and exclamation marks that they read like spam – fine for your secret diary, but to actually post something like that on your wall only shows that you cannot write.

And once you open your inner being like a giant toy box, out come the precious toys which you shouldn’t be sharing with others, the broken odds and ends, the childhood dreams, and the infantile behaviour.

In a recent interview with the Guardian, AOL’s digital prophet David Shing said that social media has become all clutter and noise, and that people should be more in control of their digital footprint and careful about what they share.

In fact, he believes that, once people start acknowledging that Facebook friends are not necessarily real friends, defriending and unfollowing will be the next big thing. But then again, why should you tell others you’re no longer friends with someone else?

A veritable conundrum indeed.

techeditor@timesofmalta.com