Have you watched any loud movies lately? I haven’t, but my neighbour is watching one right now. It’s one of those action-packed, dialogue-shy 90-minute dramas where, if one of the characters says more than his mandatory dose of two words (one of which is an f-word), he gets shot, very loudly, in the neck.

Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn’t change people’s habits. It just kept them inside the house- Alfred Hitchcock

Again and again until his gum-melting screaming stops and the soundtrack – composed using a five-star hotel’s supply of pots and pans – takes over and makes my quiet moment with a book impossible. Sadly, books don’t come with subtitles and so I give my reading its dodo moment.

That’s the downside of home entertainment. And it’s the only one – or at best, one of the very few – and is outnumbered by the perks of consuming your fun hours at home.

First, you don’t need to go out. Back in the days, to meet the big stars you had to go to the big screen. Cue two hours of scrubbing up, trawling the streets to find a half-empty parking space, and queuing for your tickets.

And then, when you finally manage to stumble to your row, you find that your next-seat neighbour (let’s call him Albert – it’s what his girlfriend keeps calling him every two seconds so that he can explain the minutiae of the plot) has invested in a box of popcorn the size of a cosy apartment, which he will proceed to munch and crunch with parted lips.

But nowadays, you can have the thrills of the big screen on your small one at home. The home entertainment technology has become good enough to replicate (at least, in part – you don’t get a free Albert with your big screen and surround system) the cinema experience.

Moreover, the big stars have taken to producing, directing and starring in TV series – from Claire Danes starring in Homeland and John Goodman in Treme to Quentin Tarantino directing a CSI special, Steven Spielberg producing Band of Brothers and Martin Scorsese directing the Boardwalk Empire pilot.

And at home, your viewing and listening pleasures are not restricted or dictated by commercial priorities – if you don’t like a particular track, you just skip to the next one. And if you want to go pour yourself a drink, you don’t need to wait for the intermission – just hit the pause button.

So sit back, switch on the telly and turn up the volume – it’s the best way you can drown out the noise your neighbours are making.

techeditor@timesofmalta.com