Every beginning is uncertain and difficult. Was not our first day of school difficult? Or our first week at work? What about our first steps and attempts to speak?

We were definitely not that eloquent in our speech and fell several times before we started to walk. What about the beginning of a relationship with another person? Whether it’s for business or pleasure, we are never sure what to expect and might struggle to establish a link with others.

First impressions can be misleading but they matter because our survival instinct trumps any ethical consideration. Our brain is still programmed to think like our ancestors.

When we meet someone new, whether it’s in a sophisticated office or at a glamorous reception, if it is initially upsetting it will trigger our flight or fight response.

It is usually non-verbal communication, which according to research is four times as powerful as words, that causes this. Since it is a fact that cannot be changed, we might as well turn it to our benefit.

An article on Forbes listed seven non-verbal ways to strike a first impression in the first seven seconds of an encounter:

1. Attitude adjustment: you have to settle in a positive state of mind and feeling;

2. Poise your posture: watch a film and see how proud (not arrogant) people carry themselves. Head straight, shoulders back, standing tall, it is a given that this person conveys competence and confidence;

3. Smile: perhaps the most powerful element in establishing a friendship. Employ it and, like everything else, do so genuinely;

4. Eye contact: people who are interested in you will look you in the eye. It is a sign of honesty and openness. Try to remember their eye colour. It will help you remember the names of new people you meet;

5. Eyebrow flash: raise your eyebrows to acknowledge the other person. This gesture cuts across culture as a symbol of recognition;

People who are interested in you will look you in the eye

6. Shake hands properly: studies show that a good handshake is equivalent to three hours of interaction, which you can achieve in a heartbeat and time is money;

7. Lean forward: even if only slightly, it will show that you are interested and engaged. Just remember not to trespass the other person’s personal space.

Mother Teresa and Henry Ford were both successful. The former is on the threshold of sainthood, while the latter made cars at reasonable prices, ensuring the legacy of his name in the business world.

They had one thing in common: they understood what people needed. After those crucial seven seconds, you will also have your chance to figure out what the other person needs.

www.diplomaticenvoy.com.au

Kristian Bonnici is the founder and chief executive of Diplomatic Envoy Consultancy.