So you have some bad news to share and don’t know where to share it. You don’t want the memory to linger in your living room and would prefer to avoid a scene. You’re looking for somewhere public yet intimate, somewhere you can talk quietly yet that would naturally prohibit a scene.
Can you wait until dessert and coffee to be the harbinger of bad news?
A bar? Too noisy. A public garden? There’s always someone around walking their dog. What about a restaurant? Well, it’s not a bad idea, but you need to choose the right one.
First of all, this is not the time to go to one of your favourite haunts – like your living room you don’t want it to be forever tainted by the memory.
Also, steer away from restaurants known for leisurely dining as this will only serve to make an uncomfortable meal last longer – somewhere known for quick table turnarounds is your best option. However, avoid anywhere with tables so close together that fellow diners will be privy to the details of your troubles.
Planning is key, so make sure to ask for a quiet table when making your reservation. The last thing you want is to be placed slap bang in the middle of the dining room and provide the evening’s entertainment. And yes, a reservation is crucial. Can you imagine traipsing around eateries searching for a free table?
Your next concern is the when. There’s nothing worse than being miserable while everyone around you is rejoicing so avoid the obvious festive days like Valentine’s Day and Christmas Eve. The date is not your only concern when it comes to timing. Would lunch or afternoon tea suit your purpose better than dinner?
Even more vexing is the question of when to go about the unpleasant business during the meal. Broaching the subject when the starters are served might lead to a loss of appetite. But can you wait until dessert and coffee to be the harbinger of bad news?
Tread carefully when organising the meeting. You don’t want your dining partner to arrive expecting a pleasant interlude only to have their world turned upside down. Issue your invitation with something along the lines of: “We have to talk.” That should set the warning bells ringing.
Given that not all bad news is equal, consider the kind of news that you will be breaking. Clearly, if you have news of bankruptcy and unemployment, do not go to a restaurant – you don’t need another bill. Also, bad tidings on a business front do not belong in a restaurant and should be delivered at the workplace.
Breaking up with someone is always tricky. However, there is one golden rule to follow – while it is acceptable to end a newish relationship over dinner, ending a long-term relationship this way isn’t. Also, it’s good to know your partner well – if they tend to be overly excitable or emotional, you could witness your dinner landing on your lap.
So you’ve got your where, when and what sorted. The how is completely down to you. Just remember that a generous helping of sensitivity will help sweeten the bitter news.