We all yearn to love and be loved unconditionally. Yet, does love happen automatically? Do we have to strive for it to become a reality? How do we learn to love? How is love experienced?
A person’s first encounter with love happens within the family unit where the love between the parents is conveyed to the child, who, in turn, feels loved and cared for.
The child experiences love through moments of nurturing, appreciation, acknowledgement, discipline, guidance, trust, democracy and positive interaction.
The child’s opportunity to observe the skills involved in sharing, giving, communicating and forgiving, among others, enhances the experience. This love instils in the child the fundamental security and ability to become a caring, committed citizen, respectful to members in his family, to colleagues at school or at work, to society and the environment. It is a circle of love whose rippling effect emanates from parent to child, from one generation to another, from family to community and beyond.
Are parents aware of this precious responsibility they have taken upon themselves? Do they appreciate the impact that day-to-day decisions have upon their children? Do they have the knowledge, disposition and the right skills to provide this unconditional love?
Do parents realise that, for love to be unconditional, it has to be lasting? Who is responsible to ensure that parents are well equipped for the challenge? Is it the state? Is it the Church? Is it me as a member of society? Is it the parents themselves? I believe it concerns us all.
The state is well placed to take a leading role: in forming our citizens, through ongoing holistic education from the early years throughout life; in enabling individuals to establish a healthy balance between life and work, by drawing up a relevant legislative framework, through ensuring its citizens’ peace of mind by providing a robust health service, by creating an environment that fosters economic and political stability.
The Church also has an active role to play, predominately in promoting those values that have served our society in good stead over the years. We, as individual citizens and parents, are called to develop the skills of nurturing and to adopt a disposition to commitment and love.
It is indeed a challenge for all society to foster love within our families. The decisions we make on a day-to-day basis need to reflect the commitment we have taken if we are to foster love and bring unity. Decisions that lack love are the cause of great pain, solitude and loneliness. Many, adults and children alike, are suffering and feel abandoned in such situations.
The current national debate begs the questions: Is divorce the solution that our society needs to prevent such pain? Does divorce promote lasting love and unity? Will divorce decrease the extent to which our families will dissolve, many of them after trudging through a journey of turmoil that strips the children of the unconditional love we aspire them to experience? It does not. Divorce condones the break-up of families for as many times as one may require.
In the context of the ideal family set-up we strive for, the suffering of those people whose families did not survive is a painful reality. Yet, is divorce the answer to their suffering? Divorce will provide a legal means for the dissolution of the security and stability forged through the commitment of marriage.
The Maltese family has proven to be a resource that has contributed to our well-being, both personally and nationally. It has nurtured generations of diligent Maltese who have worked together to make this country what it is today.
It has been a valid asset in times of illness, poverty and war. Why are we now getting disheartened and confused? Are the images being portrayed by the media providing us with a negative perspective of love and unity? Are we becoming more self-centred, putting our own interests before the needs of those we committed to nurture and love? Are our material possessions more precious than the value of love and respect?
Children need the stability of a permanent family, which is nurtured through the daily decisions that reflect the commitment entered into upon marriage. Let us undertake to sustain the call for lasting love and unity within our families, our society and country. I find this to be an essential factor if we are to be tolerant and respectful towards each other and if we are to strive for unity.