Ed eats

Munchies
Golden Bay Beach
L/O Mellieħa
Tel: 2157 6416

Food: 6/10
Service: 7/10
Ambience: 9/10
Value: 6/10
Overall: 7/10

The weather seems to have its mind set on putting its sweaters away for a while. So we do what lizards do and head out into the sun like we’ve missed it. The realistic part of me remembers last August and causes me to retreat sensibly to the dark sanctity of my cave. The rest of the world conspires to drag me outside.

With a number of tweaks in the kitchen, Munchies can be one to look out for in summer

It’s a good thing I’m not strong enough to resist the mountain of pressure that is upon me to brave the sunshine. Otherwise, like the agoraphobic girl who met a claustrophobic guy, I’d spend my life within the revolving doors of a public building.

A couple of people who are quite close to me agreed that I had to face the fact that evolution has taken us out of the caves for a good reason. Our skin needs the sun, apparently. Doesn’t sun kill us if we face it unprotected? Well it kills us and simultaneously saves us from death by darkness, it turns out. I’m not convinced.

One of them mentioned a lovely place they’d had dinner at last summer, one that would be worth my venturing into the rays of this gigantic, and bipolar, celestial body. They know that food does the trick.

There’s this place that was once a kiosk in Golden Bay and that has morphed into a restaurant that serves an amazing seafood platter. The accomplice vowed that she’d been there on a separate occasion and vouched for the veracity and the virtues of this dish. Both had shared it with their respective guests and there had been dozens of denizens of the deep in the huge portion, sufficient for two hungry punters.

I was swayed. A kiosk that wanted to be a restaurant when it grew up had finally come of age. It came recommended by two very trustworthy individuals. The sun could do its worst – I was visiting for lunch.

Lunchtime is rather elastic when I’m not slaving away so it stretched, as it usually does, to the early evening. I would try Munchies, for such is the name of this restaurant, for dinner.

I drove to Għajn Tuffieħa just in time for sunset so I headed into the car park on the peninsula between the two bays, ran to the tower, and took a photo of the bay, the setting sun, and 50 French tourists. Oh well, I thought, I’ll try to get the shot another day, feeling at peace with the world and the tourists. The peace lasted until I was accosted by a man at the car park exit, asking me to pay him for occupying a public parking space for about five minutes.

I’m happy to pay for products and services I’ve consumed but standing around in a cap and expecting people to pay you for using a road is nothing short of daylight robbery. I wonder what archaic system is in place that keeps this practice on the right side of the law.

Onwards and downwards to Golden Bay I headed, parking easily after the early evening exodus. The restaurant looks neat from up top, probably the structure visible from this spot that best blends into the surroundings.

It has been upgraded from its humble beginnings, and there are proper tables, chairs and linen. We were lucky to have a reservation because there was not another empty table.

Families occupied the rest of the restaurant, each making attempts to tether their kids with varying degrees of success. I recall myself at that age, bored after five minutes on the same chair. My sympathies were entirely with the kids.

The menus were passed on by a member of staff who was basically doing the job. There is no attempt at a developed front-of-house experience here. The food might have evolved but the service is still focussed on efficiency rather than a memorable experience. That said, everything worked well all evening. It was simply not memorable in any way.

The menus seem to combine the best of beach food with proper restaurant items and, while there is nothing really out of the ordinary, makes a welcome change from seaside options elsewhere.

The seafood platter is what we were here for and there it was, priced at €28.50 and clearly labelled as serving one person. We figured we’d order just one and any other item, then share them to get to taste both their fish and their meat.

The other item we picked was the lamb chops because I love lamb when properly prepared and wanted to steer away from the steak that I would naturally default to.

We also picked a bottle for Pouilly Fuisse from a wine menu that is fine for a beachside restaurant. There are a couple of wines from a number of countries that provide a simple and effective means of picking according to taste and budget without getting lost in unnecessary intricacies. The wine we picked came in at a decent €23 and was served rather perfunctorily.

While we waited for our food, I picked at the fresh bread and olive oil at table and tried to ignore the busy Saturday evening chatter. I tend to avoid dining out on Saturdays for precisely this reason so I wasn’t annoyed at all. I just remembered why it had been so long since I’d been somewhere popular on a Saturday.

The seafood platter turned out to be a very deep bowl stacked with shellfish and crustaceans. This meant that you’re forced to start at the top and dig downwards through an extremely generous portion. Mussels, clams, prawns, langoustines, octopus and squid were all in there, all just overcooked and all having recently recovered from a cold spell in the freezer.

I wasn’t expecting a fresh catch, considering the size of the portion, time of year and the price. Had they been less enthusiastically cooked, I’m pretty sure we would have enjoyed them more.

The lamb must have been an even more evil creature because it had been submitted to the flame and left there until it repented for its sins and those of the entire flock. I ate one of the chops but gave up on trying any more. The portion was also very generous so once again it was a pity to have it cooked beyond recognition.

We had chosen baked potatoes and these had been baked and then fried so the exterior was golden and crisp, making them quite irresistible.

I’m pretty sure that the ‘serves one’ warning on the seafood platter is there for economic reasons. It easily serves two, particularly if preceded by a small starter. We ended up leaving some of it because I only tasted a couple of items before deciding it was not something I wanted more of.

We paid €75 for the lot, mainly because we picked what is most likely the priciest item on the menu and a bottle of wine. It is easy to have a burger or a pizza and a beer and walk out having parted with a tenner.

On the other hand, had we ordered a starter each, we’d have been pushing the €100 mark. Steep for a beach restaurant that does not have any claims to fine dining by way of food quality or service.

It seems to me like they’re settling on an identity. The demand for a wider selection of beach food is clear and Munchies is neatly filling that gap. They’ve matched that with a very neat looking place that is kept clean and tidy. With a number of tweaks in the kitchen, this place can be one to look out for in summer, particularly at sunset, because the location is nigh on impossible to match.

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