More than half the children interviewed by the Centre for Family Studies on the relationship between adolescents and their parents said they wanted more time with their mothers and fathers and they wanted them to be “calm”.

Adequate supervision decreased risky behaviour and increased self-esteem

The fact that the parents corroborated their children’s thoughts, complaining they were “stretched”, was also significant, pointed out Angela Abela, the centre’s director on the research team.

In the case of separated parents, children wanted to spend time with their parents alone as opposed to always in the presence of the new partners, the study found.

Involving 80 in-depth interviews with 24 mothers, 24 fathers and 30 children, divided into four family types – non-distressed; distressed; those with parents separated consensually; and those separated contentiously – the qualitative research highlighted the pressures of family life and the challenges of parenting adolescents.

Carried out under the patronage of President George Abela, it was presented yesterday at the centre’s first research conference.

The project was inspired by the 2008 Health Behaviour in School-Aged Children survey, which found Maltese adolescents have a low degree of trust in their parents when compared to 40 other countries.

As regards trust between mothers and children, Maltese 11-year-olds ranked 34th, 13-year-olds were in 37th place and 15-year-olds in the 36th position. The relationship between fathers and children was weaker still, ranking 40th – right at the bottom of the list.

Prof. Abela said the centre’s study aimed to get a “feel” for the stories of various families.

“It shows adolescents need their parents and are asking for them, while the parents too want to connect with their children, even though they may not always succeed and need support,” she said.

It also transpired that some fathers were struggling to bond with their children and needed to be empowered, Prof. Abela continued.

In non-distressed families, the mother seemed to be the main confidante for her adolescents and she was also the intermediary between the children and the father. However, in separated families, the intermediary role was far more compromised, she said.

One of the major conclusions of the study is the pivotal importance of schools in supporting families and parent education, Dr Abela explained.

These should also serve as a meeting place, where parents could be supported and children heard, Prof. Abela continued, adding that a cost-free measure, which was requested, would be to provide networks of friends in the same stage of family life, who were experiencing the same challenges with their children.

It also emerged, across the board, that parents also wanted family therapy, as well as flexitime, particularly in the case of separations.

In non-distressed families, parents were able to reflect on the effect their behaviour had on their children and realised pressure and coercion discouraged sharing. But in distressed families, unhappy mothers – due to domineering husbands – ended up over-identifying with their children, while fathers were often unaware of the extent of their negative impact on their families.

In families with parents separated consensually, the majority were in a new relationship. Most fathers looked forward to spending time with their children, while some mothers feared the kids would be more attracted to their dads because they ended up doing the fun things with them.

As regards families with parents separated contentiously, a strong theme of loss and abandonment prevailed, the study showed.

Resilience emerged across the board, despite the adversity some families faced, Prof. Abela said, adding it was more constructive to focus on that than “pathologise” families.

Addressing the conference at the Valletta Campus, the President stressed the importance of a detailed study on the impact of separation and divorce on the relationship between adolescents and their parents.

Family therapy had to be developed further and supported, while more trained family therapists were needed and their service should spread to schools to reach more adolescents, he said.

Dr Abela called for an information campaign on existing family therapy services to encourage their use and said preventive family policies were of utmost importance.

He said the research presented yesterday, partly funded by the Malta Community Chest Fund, could be a useful platform to prevent family problems and support parents, who are the “architects of the family”.

Despite the idea that parents become more irrelevant during their children’s adolescence, there was mounting evidence that they remained a significant influence at this stage too, he said. It appeared that adequate supervision, which had a positive perception of adolescents, decreased risky behaviour and increased their self-esteem.

The research team also included Ruth Farrugia, senior lecturer at the Faculty of Laws, counselling psychologist Marita Galea and family lawyer Deborah Schembri, who headed the pro-divorce campaign, while world expert on adolescence Dr John Coleman delivered the keynote address.

Impact of divorce

Divorce is a process – not a single event – and what occurs in the family before and after has a greater impact on a young person’s adjustment than the divorce per se, according to a world expert in adolescence.

Key factors affecting them include the experience of being “caught in the middle” and the impact of poverty, which is a common feature of lone-parent families, said Dr John Coleman from Oxford University.

Delivering the keynote address at the presentation of research by the Centre of Family Studies on The Relationship Between Maltese Adolescents and their Parents, he said some evidence suggests that, in certain cases, separation and divorce can be a protective factor against further psychological damage.

He pointed to the relief of the burden of having to witness chronic conflict and that family reorganisation may allow a young person to take on new roles.

Dr Cole has been a Senior Research Fellow in the Department of Education at the University of Oxford since 2006 and has written widely about adolescence.

During his address, he said research showed parental confidence took a significant dip once the young person reached puberty. The challenges included keeping the balance between structure and freedom and managing conflict over everyday issues.

Most people think peers take over as the key reference group in adolescence, but research shows it not to be true, Dr Cole said. Both are important and good outcomes depend on family involvement.