I know what you’re thinking: he’s really teed off at not getting a Cabinet post in Jo-zeff’s recent reshuffle. Well, no actually, I’m not.
Oh, I’ll admit that when the new Cabinet was revealed I was just a tad miffed. But after his press conference to announce the reshuffle, our charismatic and loveable leader came up to me, put an arm around my shoulder, handed me his handkerchief to mop up my tears and assured me that I am still in his thoughts… some of the time. And that’s good enough for me.
The one thing that does stick in my craw, however, is the fact that little tubby Manuel was given another opportunity to screw up again. After the pig’s ear he made of his last ministry, I was frankly amazed. I mean, the man’s a walking talking liability, he even makes the other lot’s Austin look almost adequate.
On a similar subject, I agonised for days over whether I should run for deputy leader of the party, once Konrad was forced to stand down. I consulted with my team of closest advisers and she advised me to bide my time, for now.
But it really all depends on whether Jo-zeff wants me even closer to him than I already am. He knows I am ready and willing and all he has to do is whistle… and you can bet I’ll come running.
• There has been a lot of fuss and nonsense recently in the Opposition newspapers (Not that I read them, of course, but snippets do trickle out.) about our party’s predisposition towards alleged cronyism and jobs for the boys. Well of course there is! Do they expect Jo-zeff to favour their people before ours?
We all know why our sainted capo let those two moppets Kon and Keet out of their naughty chairs
Oh no, Jo-zeff knows what he’s doing: Look after your own and to hell with the other lot. A sanguine and eminently sensible philosophy, if ever I heard one. Malta Tagħna Lkoll yet again.
• And while we’re on the subject of the Opposition media (which I never read), I, and my government colleagues in Parliament, have been disgusted by the recent personal attacks on our truly wondrous Prime Minister’s ‘consortium’(sic), the lovely Meesh.
For goodness sake! Here is a decent and aristocratic (well, the aristocracy of the workers anyway) female woman doing her utmost to complement the great work her husband is doing for the country and himself, by carrying out countless good works, charitable deeds and business enterprises. And – when everyone in our fair isles ought to be lauding her efforts to the heavens and handing her Gieħ ir-Repubblika by the dozen, all the enemy can do is berate her for being just a few months late with paying some minions.
Shame on them! Shame!
• And here I would like to allude to a disgraceful recent spate of personal attacks on me in the Opposition media. This is in the wake of a recent visit I paid to Charlie, our village barber. Charlie, through reasons best known to himself, inflicted upon my thatch, what he referred to as – a toothbrush cut. This means that my inch-long locks now stick up from my crown in a sort of crew halo.
This, coupled with the fact that I have taken to wandering the corridors of power singing softly in a gentle falsetto, has given rise to the Oppo media suggesting that I must be the love-child of an extramarital affair. Not true, do you hear, not true at all!
• One last word – we hope – on that tiresome Panama nonsense.
We all know why our sainted capo let those two moppets Kon and Keet out of their naughty chairs. Nobody, least of all Jo-zeff, wants those two to bring the whole house of cards tumbling around us.
So prosit Ġuż for keeping a lid on the whole sordid mess… what a wheeler dealer, what a man, what a star!
Comments:
Better Red than dead writes: “What a star indeed; not only charismatic and loveable, but so devastatingly good looking too.”
Blue Rinse writes: “Good looking? I’ve seen better looking roadkill. He has all the good looks of a shaved chimp.”
Backbencher writes: “Sticks and stones may break his bones, but names will never hurt him… and besides, Blue Rinse, we know where you live.”