Dear friends,

So it seems to be, so far so good. Jo–zeff, our charismatic and lovable leader is steering the luzzu of state serenely through smooth and rough seas, with the aplomb and skill of a true master marinara (sic).

Naturally there have been minor hiccups along the way – quite apart from those sneaky metaphoric banana skins tossed under the steady tread of this fresh and masterful new administration. Oh what a difference from the days of the ineffectual and vacillating Nats.

When I began this blog I stipulated at the time that I would write about our new, perfect and totally flawless government... warts and all. And so it is with this in mind that I turn my attention to – what some misguided critics see as – our c and l leader’s first mega gaffe.

I refer, of course, to the performance so far of one of his ministerial appointments. No names, no pack-drill... but I feel I have to address this, before someone from the cheap seats on the other side of the House makes a meal of it.

And before anybody else says it, let me make one thing perfectly clear:

No, Manuel is most definitely not our Austin Powercrazy. Of course, he isn’t, he’s only been responsible for a mere six or seven major cock-ups so far, way below Austin’s score.

And no, I really can’t see him compounding his gaffes by setting up yet another national holiday in aid of ‘cuddle-a-criminal-day’. This is a cruel rumour started and then propagated by you-know-who.

And yes, of course I think he was right and even humane to give all those convicted jailbirds a large chunk off their sentences. Good gracious, some of them are doing time for such trivial misdemeanours as armed robbery and aggravated assault!

Which brings me nicely onto yet another bone of contention (For the opposition, that is... the rest of us are perfectly cool about it... well, most of us are).

Yes, I’m talking about the far-sighted and sagacious decision of Jo-zeff to make use of the minimal talents of that has-been TV hanger-on Lou Bombi.

I really can’t see him compounding his gaffes by setting up yet another annual holiday in aid of ‘cuddle-a-criminal-day’

And why shouldn’t our c and l leader help a lame duck over a stile?

It proves to me – and most of my fellow former elves – what a sweet and forgiving head honcho our PM is. And yes, of course this Bombi person will prove extremely... adequate in whatever menial and degrading task our c and l leader decides to assign to him.

Our sagacious PM knows what he’s doing – as he keeps telling us. Let’s hope Mr Bombi does too.

So to more serious matters, the continued vilification of poor Johnny D.

Is this any way for the opposition to treat one of its former loyal dogsbodys?

As every citizen of this country is aware, he served his country and – more misguidedly – his party, unselfishly for several administrations.

Only for that ungrateful bunch of hypocrites to cast him out... first into the virtual exile of a well-paid sinecure in Brussels (via the Bahamas) – and then out of politics altogether and into the grateful and opportunistic arms of Jo-zeff and all the rest of us in Mile End Road.

Which is where our great leader discovered him.

From where he has been lifted up and has since promised to serve on whichever committee Jo-zeff has – in his infinite wisdom – decided to dump him on. Something to do with one of Jose Hairaira’s multiple karnivali... or something.

Finally, one of our new and thrusting government’s forgotten people makes a well-timed reappearance as our all-new commissioner for depravation (Hence the letters CD on her car).

And who could be better suited to talk on the subject of paucity than Ms Una Mintsauce Blonde, a scion of our foundling (sic) father.

Bravo I say, go to it gel!

Comments:

Strolling Bones writes:

Re Johnny D: Sympathy for the devil, or what?

Brown noser writes:

If I promise to contribute nice comments, can I be your friend?