Am I really a numeric moron?

Whilst I always thought that I was terrible at math, this week's numeric antics had me wondering if I am really that bad after all.

Though I cannot really calculate much without the use of a calculator, and I couldn't figure out trigonometry if my life depended on it, this week's list of numeric comedies had me in fits.

Do help me figure these out will you?

Three foreigners were jailed for defrauding BOV and HSBC out of a total of €6500. They were jailed 18 months each. My calculator worked this out to a total of 1642 days between all three of them.

According to Finance Minister Tonio Fenech each prisoner at the Corradino Correctional facility costs the state €50 a day. Now you do the math, but according to my rough calculations, €6500 (which were not returned) will not take us very far, so, clearly, their upkeep (€82k) will come out of my and your tax money. Isn't that just mathematical bliss?

Church vs State

In Malta we do not have divorce, but for some reason, in 2009 the Church almost doubled its percentage of granted annulments. In the four years prior to 2009, the Church used to annul an average of 21% of the number of all state-granted annulments, but for some reason, in 2009 this percentage shot up to 41%.

Figure this

An unemployed 18 year old, already out and about on conditional discharge, was caught driving a Mercedez Benz without insurance cover and without a driving license. He was granted bail without having to pay a deposit because his defence lawyer successfully argued that his client, the son of a convicted criminal, is only 18 years old and has no financial means.

When the Magistrate pointed out that this kid was driving nothing less than a Mercedez Benz, his lawyer argued that he too could go to work in a very expensive vehicle (a route bus for example) but that would not necessarily mean that he had money. Incredibly enough, the Magistrate bought this and granted the accused bail against a personal guarantee of €5000, but without a deposit! When this guy finally ends up in prison we'll be paying yet another €50/day for his upkeep, and in the meantime, he can cause some more havoc for good measure.

Matsecs

According to the Government, 77% passed their Matsec ‘O' Level exams, but if you include the number of fifth formers who did not even bother to sit for the exams in the first place, the percentage goes down to just over 50% of all fifth formers. So which percentage shall we hook our umbrellas on?

The thing is this - the Government had set its own goal - that of increasing the total percentage of secondary students who go on to study further after leaving compulsory schooling. So, by the Government's own self-inflicted logic, fifth formers who do not bother to sit for their ‘O' levels should be kept in the equation and considered to have failed because they are the least likely to go on to study any further? Or is this a case of a tree falling in a forest with no one around to hear it?

And for the final straw :

€80,000 - The amount of our tax money that paid for the Pope's visit

48 - The number of hours that the Pope spent in Malta

€1,666 - The cost of every hour that the Pope spent in Malta

666 - The number of the beast

10 - The number of men alleging sexual abuse

4 -The number of priests under investigation

30 - The number of minutes that the Pope spent with the alleged victims

7 - The number of years that the cases have been under investigation

0 - The number of convictions to date

The Church stating that attempts at the ordination of women are ‘most serious crimes' along with paedophilia - PRICELESS!

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