Is that a Zimmer Frame? …Thanks I’ll pass!

The way my mind thinks is…. Always get yourself a younger man, so that in turn YOU look younger and more attractive. Tried and tested: Madonna, Demi Moore, Liza Minelli, Meg Ryan…the list never ends.

The benefits of dating a younger man are many. The fit young body, the fresh young mind, the technological knowledge that is almost second nature to them, the stamina and other features these young strapping lads come with, which are too crude to mention. It seemed to be a new trend, when Madge and Mrs. Kutcher made cradle-snatching as appealing as lunch-time Botox, but nowadays it’s SO 2005.

Last week I decided to venture out of my hermitage and tried to get myself into Party mode on Friday night. It was a friend’s birthday so I thought, “Oh what the heck, I’ll just try to dress up and adapt to whatever the evening throws at me.”

I made my way to the club notorious for its glamorous décor and upper class clientele. I was also pleasantly surprised that the secondary school Paceville outings, had apparently been reserved for the other clubs. The punters here seemed to be 20 Plus.

At around midnight this very attractive woman wearing a designer white suit made her entrance. Her bouncy chocolate mane shone and her voluptuous Fake breasts gave a whole new meaning to decolletage. If THAT wasn’t a woman screaming for attention then I don’t know who else was. And trust me all spotlights were on her. This young guy of around 25 needed a flannel, he seemed to have gone into a dribbling frenzy and quite obviously couldn’t wait to sink his teeth into this 60 year old reminiscent of Joan Collins.

In a secluded corner an older man was dancing with a young fresh-faced model. “Is she his daughter?” I asked myself in all naiveness. By the way he was groping away at her buttocks I thought not! Gold Digging is a concept, which I am incapable of identifying with.

I cannot possibly imagine dating an older, ‘not so hot’ man just to be driven around in anything fancy, drink bubbly every time we’re out, go out on the yacht in Summer, be treated to designer wear every time he wants to make up the time he couldn’t spend with me because of his business meetings, eat out at the most lavish restaurants…..is this starting to sound appealing? Hell No, no!!!!

Do I want to be feeding this man soup when he loses control of his limbs..besides the boudoir action? I don’t think so! Do I want to watch daily re runs of ‘All My children’ with him? Naqahhh…Do I want to queue up at the Polyclinic for his pills and be overtaken by the evil ‘Karta Anzjana’ holders … NOPE! And last but not least do I want to make space to store a Zimmer Frame at home? No thanks…although one does get perks such as getting upgraded whilst travelling…….so that’s a thought isn’t it?