Slogans, paper and promises

If you’ve been on Campus at all this past week, then chances are you’ve been accosted by someone in a white or yellow t-shirt wanting to give you a copy of their team’s electoral manifesto. You probably felt obliged to take one. Whether you actually read it or not is another thing entirely. If you didn’t, here is some of what you missed out on.

For the benefit of non-University students who have no idea what I’m on about, Thursday the 2nd of April is KSU Election day, when we the students are supposed to vote for who we would like to represent us in the Kunsill Studenti Universitarji. This year, as opposed to last year when there were no elections, two teams will be going head to head, namely SDM (Studenti Demokristjani Maltin) and ACT, a newly formed coalition of eleven student organisations.

The first thing that I noticed about ACT’s manifesto are the words ‘Open Here’, in the bottom right hand corner of the cover page. To be honest I felt a bit insulted at being given instructions on how to turn a page. The cover page itself is a black and white picture of the ACT team at Golden Bay, posing behind a bright yellow ACT logo. For some reason they’re holding a ball. Candidate for Education Coordinator Anna Abela’s expression seems to indicate that she shares my confusion as to what this ball signifies.

SDM on the other hand have gone for the glossy booklet format. The cover is blue and green and is emblazoned with their election slogan “Renewing Quality, Strengthening Opportunities.” I think someone’s been at the cheese and corn. The blue part symbolises the ‘quality’ of a clear, pollution free sky, and the green part represents the vast ‘opportunities’ that nature gives us. Yes I just made that up.

After carefully following the aforementioned instructions, making sure I turned the page correctly without tearing it, I found myself looking at ACT’s proposals. It looks quite confusing at first, but it’s colourful and creative. SDM’s manifesto is more conventional, but easier to read. It has been made in the form of a calendar, with a number of different pledges for every month.

But enough about aesthetics, let’s get down to the important stuff, the actual content of the manifestos.

Both teams promise to rebuild Students’ Hut. Isn’t Students’ Hut what came before Students’ House? And won’t the Big Bad Wolf blow it down again?

ACT say they will lobby for an investigation into which structural changes need to be carried out at Junior College. A wrecking ball and some explosives would be a good start.

The pledge that caught my eye the most in SDM’s manifesto is that they want to make bus tickets Smart Card refundable. It says a lot about our country that cheaper fares for students are considered to be an innovative idea in 2009. But hey, better late than never I suppose.

In November, SDM will apparently create an “online store” on the KSU website. Selling what exactly? A downloadable MP3 of their highly original campaign song, sung by a McFly tribute band? If ACT win and steal their idea, they’ll be selling fishing rods. That’s what their website says anyway: “ACT is unlike any other KSU team because we won’t give you a fish when you’re hungry. We’ll give you a fishing rod and teach you to fish.” Personally I’m glad they won’t be giving us fish, can you imagine what fish from the Canteen would taste like?

ACT say they want to lobby for an assault course on University grounds. We already have an assault course, because avoiding some lecturers while still keeping to the required number of ECTS is an obstacle course in itself. “That lecturer grades unfairly, jump!” That lecturer is mind-numbingly boring, dodge dodge dodge!”

Finally, SDM promise to organise a prize-giving ceremony called ‘Kokka Night’ in May. Sounds a bit rude if you ask me...

In total, SDM have made 53 pledges in their manifesto, while ACT have 17 more with a hefty total of 70. I can’t see why we can’t vote both of them in and get 123 things done. Well no, it wouldn’t be 123 because you would have to subtract the pledges which are similar, and because we live in the real world, where pre-election promises are worth less than the paper, glossy or otherwise, they’re printed on.

Matthew Bonanno is a Communications student at the University of Malta. He is a member of Insite – the student media organisation.

www.insiteronline.com