Wednesday, 9th April 2008
Ladies and Gentlemen….
Before I started writing this blog, I did some push ups, made myself a cup of coffee and searched the meaning of Gentleman in the dictionary. Turns out a gentleman is a “man of chivalrous manners and good breeding: a man of good social position, man of wealth and leisure” all well and good. Might I add that very few of this male specimen make themselves known to my presence, as I’m known to attract the type that’s easy on the eye ...but knows it, plays mind games galore and also those who ceremoniously dump me when the relationship entails way too much effort. But that’s another story…
Do all men live up to the ‘gentleman’ title? You see it sprawled across loo doors in pubs and you wonder whether the guys walking in after one too many pints are still deserving of that title!!
The one that really cracks me up though is the “Gentlemen’s Club”, they’re become pretty rife around the island and promise a night with ‘Heaven’s Angels.’ I just love the description, the clubs’ atmosphere is actually more reminiscent to what would’ve gone on in Sodom and Gomorra and SO NOT Heaven but I guess that’s what marketing strategies are all about. Who wants to sit around eating fairy dust and playing a harp all day anyway?
So you thought I was having a nasty good ol’ b**** about men!? I can’t say I always live up to the ‘lady’ title myself. Manners, composure and etiquette ain’t quite my forte! Don’t get me wrong, I am SO the girl you take home to your mum, I can hold a conversation about anything under the sun, help out with the dishes after lunch without nagging, totally stick an hour of my partner’s grandmother relate the hardships of war and I know which fork and knife to use while dining at a POSH place! Hehehe.
What is ‘lady’ like behaviour anyway, I ask myself? Does ‘one’ say “I’m going to powder my nose” instead of “I really need to take a piss” or does ‘one’ gently retain gas or shamelessly parp on the sofa whilst watching telly? Dilemma? Not really, I know which of the above I’d go for.
I was once dating a man who wanted me to pipe down the swear words, as he was of the opinion that the ‘F’ word cropped up way too many times during our conversations. My attire was also a cause of concern apparently, so I slowly started ‘trying’ to conform to the stereotypical high maintenance look. (The Cropped barnet and pink lights weren’t in any way helping might I add) The last straw was him pointing out the ‘Charlie’s Angels’ OVERDONE flicked look as a style that would ‘become’ me. That was when I thought, the only way I’d ever want to be a ‘lady’ was if …I lived in my own manor, had tons of jewels and rode horses.
Otherwise I’d rather be the tomboy that I am, down at the pub having a laugh with the boys…..please note, not ‘gentlemen’!
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Comments
It seems a bit risky dealing in generalisations. The definition of 'gentleman' below sounds pretentious. Wealth hardly makes the person, surely. And gentleman's club has always been a bit of an oxymoron. They have all the emotional honesty of the average Hollywood movie.
Ira, perhaps it's time to date rock nerds? :P
And since she did, allow me merely to point out that there's no difference between girls and boys when it comes to manners! Absolutely.
No, we don't need to work on the boys more than we should work on the girls in this sphere.
I was certainly not writing in order to judge Ira in any way, for heavens' sake. I was merely challenging Ira's way of downplaying on the importance of being a lady and being a gentleman.
Full stop!
In my books, a 'gentleman' is that type of male who is of good character, who stands by his word, whom you can trust, and who is a decent human being - something which is getting rarer by the minute in our society. It has absolutely nothing to do with the so-called 'gentlemen's clubs' that Ira refers to.
Of course, for the above, read 'ladies' for 'gentlemen'. Again, it has nothing to do with powdering one's nose. Even a charlot can do that.
Tough luck on Ira - I agree with the guy she was dating: maybe we can 'accept' a male who oozes out swear words; but for a female, it's downright undecorous to hear her 'f***ing' her way through a whole conversation - yes, it's unbecoming of her.
But, some people think it's 'kewwwwl', nowdays, to speak like that.
When all is said and done, you realise that that person said nothing much.
Hmmmm should I take that to mean you're recently single? Do tell, do tell...
So a gentleman cannot be easy on the eye?
Unfortunately as i do feel that 'chivalry is dead' as they say. I am 39 and was brought up the old fashioned way. My parents always taught me that i should open a door for a lady, pull out her chair, take her coat from her and help her put it back on. How to eat properly and drink. Look smart and always polish my shoes (so long as they can be polished). I still do all these things but with some apprehension. After many years living in London I was always warned about offering my seat to a lady on the train or bus as I was told i would get a dirty look because i would be belittling women by insinuating they are too weak to stand. I therefore reserved that gesture for the elderly, pregnant or those laden with shopping. Also opening a door for a woman was advised against. I still do it. Unfortunately all too often here in Malta I have opened doors in shops to women with shopping or push-chairs and very rarely do i get a thank you but a blank look. Generally i think that as time goes on people are forgetting how to be kind to each other. It is not a sex thing but just the way things are going. I remember talking to a black guy in Louisianna USA once and he said something i will never forget...it is not the word LOVE that will save us, as there are so many variations on that word and everyone interprets it differently. It is RESPECT that will save us as it is a word that has only one meaning. When people learn to respect each other, doesn't matter whether sex, creed or colour, and that it isn't something to be expected but given and received in equal measure, then i think we just might get along!