Half empty glasses, the weather and a stage persona

Some evenings I just wish I could get into my PJs, throw on a good DVD and stay in, munching on roasted chestnuts and going through a box of Kleenex if I'm watching a good tearjerker or split my sides with laughter to a good comedy.

Alas, every night some unprecedented event occurs. It's almost like a curse, well actually it's a life style many out there are well used to. It's the entertainment industry for you, "round the clock schedule-forget your plans" scenario. Ok ,ok I'm rambling on, doing the moaning thing, I'm seeing the glass half empty, being negative etc.

This morning, I went to have my dose of morning caffeine at a little cosy restaurant in Ballutta. Sitting by the window I could see the waves rolling in, hitting the sturdy rocks. The sun was beating down and yet, looking at the grey choppy sea in motion made me feel chilly. That was a beautiful contradiction right there in front of me. Two elements taking centre stage at the same time....a glorious sun, in a manifestation of splendour and a cold sea crashing violently against the shore.

This is exactly how I feel at times, like there's an underlying anger that needs to be unleashed. Someone recently asked me why my lyrical content is me being angry at the world or whatever has happened to me. He's right and when I take the stage something takes over me. It's a feeling that under normal circumstances would make me uncomfortable. But on stage I feel invincible and like I can say or wear anything I want. It's my chance to be the contradiction that I am, par excellence. To disguise every insecurity that has afflicted me forever and turn in into everything at the opposite end of the spectrum.

So in short, I guess, that's me, the murky icy water having the time of my life, under that fiery warm spotlight....the sun shining down on another day, of unprecedented events.