I have always counted Archbishop Charles Scicluna as a friend, even before he became – and in spite of his becoming – Archbishop. He’s from Lija, as am I, he used to ride the same model of bike I learnt on, though now he has the questionable luxury of travelling in a chauffeured tin-can, and he studied law, though with far greater distinction than I ever achieved.

Since being elevated to the Archbishopric, his Grace has conducted himself with – ahem – grace and skill, but since I’m not obsessed with the doings of the Church Organised, unlike a number of commentators I could mention, I’d be hard pressed to give you chapter and verse to back up my assertion. Suffice it to say, to date he’s not done much to set me spluttering with faux liberalism and plenty to make me nod in appreciation, if you’ll forgive my sounding a touch patronising, now that I’ve re-read that last bit.

But that was before Mgr Scicluna’s dictum last week, proposing that it was not beyond the bounds of possibility that where feasible, Islam could be taught to students who wished to take instruction in that faith within Church schools.

In running this notion up the flagpole and saluting it, the Archbishop was echoing a kite, if kites are susceptible of being echoed, flown by the Minster of Education a few days before.

The very idea, Heaven forfend, that any belief system other than Roman Catholicism could be taught within the perception of the delicate flowers that make up the student body apparently served as a mighty kick in the groin to the massed ranks of stalwart defenders of flag and faith.

The result was an outpouring of xenophobic, racist bigotry that almost, but not quite, beggared belief. I say “almost” because our shameful recent history of people wrapping themselves in the flag to denounce immigrants and screech the usual imprecations has sadly made this par for the course.

It’s disheartening to witness the foaming-at-the-mouth ranting that greeted this outlandish idea that … children of all faiths could be accommodated and given instruction

Some sad individuals even went so far as to start a petition on, of all things, Facebook, to have the Archbishop removed – one media outlet weirdly gave these strange people the oxygen of publicity.

It’s disheartening, to say the least, to witness the foaming-at-the-mouth ranting that greeted this outlandish idea that in a country that is ruled by the law including, indeed led by, the notions of freedom of worship, expression and learning that underpin our democracy, children of all faiths could be accommodated and given instruction.

Sorry about that long sentence, but the racist morons aren’t going to understand it even if words of one syllable and short sentences are used. Let’s try for a simpler wording, however. If it serves to dial back even a smidgen of racist hysteria, it will be worth it.

Read my lips, bigots.

Kids who are not Catholic have the same rights as all other kids to be taught religion. Their religion. No-one is forcing Catholic kids to learn Islam. Or Buddhism. Or the Code of the Jedi Knights.

Get it, now? And please, pretty, pretty please, don’t give me any rubbish about “would other religions be tolerated in Muslim countries?” and “If they don’t like it, they can go back” and “they have to fit in if they want to live here”.

In the first place, the whole point is that we (are supposed to) hold ourselves to a higher standard of tolerance than fundamentalist hell-holes.

In the second place, most people don’t choose to leave their homes; they’re forced to by impelling circumstances. And that includes economic needs. What gives us in Europe the right to say that by accident of birth we’re allowed to tell others they can’t aspire for improvement?

In the third place, how would you (assuming you are a bigot that can read) like it if I told you to comply with my standards and no others? I wish you would, but I’m a realist. If I weren’t, I’d float the idea that religion should not even be taught in schools at all, State or Church or private.

The paroxysm of racist bigotry that greet­ed the Archbishop’s idea came at the same time as the UK triggered Brexit formally.

The oaf Nigel Farage’s vacuous stupidities about taking charge of their own destiny and raising the barriers to immigration and all the other lies he was aided and abetted in spewing by Bojo and the other twerps got them to this point.

And at the same time, back in the U S of A, Putin’s good buddy is merrily proving that democracy is not all that it’s cracked up to be, given that it got him elected.

All different sides of the same coin, really, when you think about it.

Mark Anthony Falzon is not appearing this week.

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