You may recall that last Sunday I said it was time for Arsene Wenger to go.

Surprisingly that didn’t go down well with some Arsenal fans who told me I was wrong, he was a legend, he deserved more time and that it would probably be best if I went forth and multiplied.

Hmmm.

Having just re-watched the highlights of last Wednesday night’s game in Munich, I can’t help but wonder if those guys still feel the same this week.

Arsenal weren’t just beaten by Bayern, they were publically humiliated. The first half was pretty even, I have to admit, although Arsenal’s goal was fortuitous as it was never a penalty in the first place.

But in the second half the Germans moved up into a gear that Arsenal just don’t have these days. And by the end of it they were toying with Wenger’s team like a cat might toy with a stunned mouse.

Had the final score been 7-1, I don’t think many would have called it an injustice.

The upshot of this mauling is that – barring an epic miracle – this will be the seventh season in a row Arsenal have failed to win a knock-out tie in the Champions League.

To put that in context, the last time they did win one, Nicklas Bendtner, Samir Nasri, Bacary Sagna and even Sol Campbell were in the team. And the latter has been retired for half a decade.

I cannot see any circumstance under which that is acceptable.

Wenger’s Arsenal are a team who consistently qualify for the Champions League but are there to merely to make up the numbers once it starts. With Wenger in charge, they are no more likely to become Champions of Europe than Leicester are to retain their Premier League title.

Although at face value there is no major shame in losing to a good (but not great) Bayern team, it is the manner of the defeat that is the problem. This was the Chelsea game all over again with men playing boys. Arsenal had no heart, no desire, no fight and, above all, no leadership.

The latest team Wenger has built is full of a fancy Dans who are great when the going is easy but don’t have the passion or stomach for a real fight. In fact, the only Arsenal player on the pitch who seemed to really care about what was happening was Alexis Sanchez. And I can’t see him signing a new contract to play for a team that is only capable of winning the occasional FA Cup.

Whichever way you look at it, the modern Arsenal are underachievers who flatter to deceive season after season after season.

Albert Einstein once said that insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And that is exactly the sort of Groundhog Day loop the Arsenal board and their manager have been stuck in for years.

In the wake of the defeat, the club announced that a decision on Wenger’s future will be taken at the end of the season, when his current deal runs out. Meanwhile a defiant Wenger said he intends to be managing next year, whether at Arsenal or somewhere else.

Albert Einstein once said insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. And that is exactly the loop the Arsenal board and their manager have been stuck in for years

As I said last week, an amicable divorce is now the only sensible course of action for the club and the manager. And after the way the players performed against Bayern, I don’t think Arsenal should bother fighting for custody of the kids…

A foreign affair

Last weekend was yet another proud moment for Premiership football – nine games involving 18 teams that produced 19 goals… but only one of them scored by an English player.

And, just to add to the irony, he was a defender playing for a Welsh team.

There were goals for players from Spain, Chile, Belgium, Italy, Algeria, Northern Ireland and Senegal, among others. But the only Englishman to find the back of the net was Swansea’s Alfie Mawson.

And then we wonder why the English national team is pants…

Injured Andy’s latest no-show

What was it I was saying about Andy Carroll being made out of glass?

All last week we read about how Gareth Southgate was going to be watching the West Ham United striker at the weekend with a view to recalling him to the national team.

But come the day and Carroll was, yet again, injured.

I said last Sunday that I would pick him for England simply because he offers something a bit different from the other strikers.

However, in hindsight, I’m not sure any manager can risk reserving a place in a squad for a player who could probably get injured having a haircut…

The last of the Mohicans

Talking of haircuts, what on earth is going on in the United Arab Emirates?

Apparently 40 players who play for teams over there are being charged with having “unethical haircuts”, among them former Sunderland striker Asamoah Gyan.

It seems the UAE Football Association has strict guidelines on what hairstyles are allowed on the field of play. Mohican styles, like the one sported by Gyan, are on this banned list.

I understand the need for sport to comply with local customs but I am struggling to see what could possibly be offensive about a Mohican. Other than the fact it has a tendency to make its owner look a bit daft, of course.

And don’t be mistaken into thinking these guidelines are just there for the sake of it either. They are strictly, if somewhat selectively, enforced.

There was even a case of one player being made to cut his ‘un-Islamic’ hair by the referee before he was allowed to play in a league match.

If, as is clearly obvious, this is a religious thing, how come Fifa are not getting involved? Surely players being forced to comply with a religion that they don’t necessarily follow goes against Fifa’s rules, doesn’t it?

Isn’t it a bit like the Italian Football Association, for example, insisting that all players make the sign of the cross before entering the pitch? That would cause Fifa’s power brokers to self-combust.

Then again, I suppose Fifa is far too busy cracking down on teams wearing symbols of flowers on their shirts to find time to deal with religious interference…

The player who cried wolf

You see a lot of unsporting behaviour in football, to the extent that it is almost part and parcel of the modern game.

But it’s been a long time since I have seen a player do anything quite as reprehensible as Joel Veltman.

Just in case you haven’t seen it, the Ajax defender was on the wing with the ball when he saw one of his teammates lying injured a few feet away.

He gestured to the opponent marking him that there was an injury and suggested he was going to kick the ball out of play so the player could receive treatment.

However, when his opponent turned round to see what Veltman was pointing at, the Ajax player knocked the ball past him, ran down the wing and fired in a cross.

Sporting behaviour this was not.

To make matters worse, Veltman was not even remotely sorry for his actions.

“I know you do not get any prizes for this, but it was nothing more than a trick. What would I have done if there was a goal scored from the cross? A goal is a goal,” he told the press the following day.

You don’t get any prize for it, Joel, because it is cheating in all but name.

Next time, when one of your teammates is genuinely injured and needs urgent attention, don’t complain if nobody believes you and the game carries on.

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com
Twitter: @maltablade

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