Alexander Libreri is a bullying victim who is seeking support to set up a voluntary group to help fellow victims put a stop to the abuse. His story was told in The Sunday Times of Malta recently.
Mr Libreri, who was bullied in school and at his workplace, proposes to work alongside legal and medical professionals, NGOs and the authorities in an effort to help bullying victims. When the interview with him appeared online, it fuelled various comments, most of them in relation to the suggestion that bullied children should gang up and give bullies a taste of their own medicine. That would, of course, be wrong on various counts.
First, it is not only children who are bullied. For bullies, any context is the right one to humiliate their victims and feed on what they perceive to be the weakness of others.
Many also consider bullying to be a school-age rite of passage which everyone must suffer and survive – the experience would fade away with adulthood. Not necessarily. As Mr Libreri said in his interview: “Bullying is not like a bruise on your leg that heals with time but a knock on the head that leaves a scar.” In fact, studies show that bullying can be a lifelong – and unwelcome – companion.
Bullying – physical, verbal or emotional – is, indeed, a scar. Some of the effects of bullying are immediate, including anxiety, shame, loneliness and feelings of depression. Victims also frequently express challenging behaviour, fuelled by their anger at peers who tease, humiliate and exclude them, rather than recognise their need to feel included.
Research also shows that bullying can have an effect on educational achievement. When the school becomes a bullying context, children will grow to dislike school and will not see it as a supportive and learning environment. This will lead to absenteeism, lack of participation and slumps in concentration levels, which will affect victims’ grades and, in turn, their job and career prospects.
Children who are subject to bullying often experience shame. The feeling of not being accepted does not heal with time. If not addressed, it accompanies children into adulthood, where they will continue to feel a sense of worthlessness and that something is intrinsically wrong with them.
The advent of technology has made bullying worse. Whereas, before, bullied children used to feel safe at home with their parents or guardians, nowadays, bullies can still ‘enter’ a safe home and humiliate their victims via e-mail, text messages and social media.
It is not just children who are bullied. Adults can also be victims: from unfair dismissal to exclusion and stunted career progression, workplace bullying is, unfortunately, very common. Ganging up on bullies and giving them a taste of their own medicine is the knee-jerk reaction but it is wrong and would only serve to turn victims into bullies.
Rather, the solution is intervention. In childhood bullying, the intervention of an adult is critical. Because power imbalance is intrinsic to bullying, adult intervention can be a positive impact as it can empower children and help them feel they can trust others.
In the case of adult bullying, the intervention should take the form of a support system – whether by the State or voluntary groups or both – that gives victims emotional and legal support and helps them feel less helpless. This support system should also address bullies by creating a non-judgmental yet firm environment that shows them that their behaviour is not acceptable and helps them learn new ways of acting.