Today it’s Grandparents Day. It is fitting that on this day we reflect on the contribution and role of grandparents within the family unit and society. To that end, yesterday I teamed with APAN, the association of pensioners and elderly of the Nationalist Party (PN) to organise a discussion on this theme.
Drawing from my current personal experience, I know first hand the invaluable help and support grandparents offer to their children who have started their own family.
I am a mother of a nine-month old girl, a practising lawyer, a candidate for the upcoming general election on the PN ticket and the deputy mayor of Siggiewi. I would not be able to successfully fulfil these roles without the assistance of my daughter’s grandparents – who not only help care for my daughter when I have other engagements but are also a point of reference in any challenges relating to the upbringing of my child.
Grandparents offer practical advice to the younger generation who, like myself, are new to parenthood. Their life experiences, their love and the bond with their children and their grandchildren are a solid and sincere point of reference. The unconditional availability of grandparents should not, however, translate into parents abdicating their role, or grandparents unwittingly usurping the position and responsibilities of the primary caregivers.
Unfortunately, there are many households where the parents are not present and it’s only the grandparents parenting grandchildren
There needs to be constant communication between parents and grandparents. In the same way that young parents turn to their own parents for advice and help on upbringing, grandparents should consult the parents who have entrusted them with care of the grandchildren to complement the wishes, values and aims parents are envisioning for their children.
Unfortunately, there are many households where the parents are not present and it’s only the grandparents parenting grandchildren. This is a matter of concern, if the primary reason for the grandparents to take over is the irresponsibility of the parents.
Children must also be aware that nanna and nannu are on the same page as their parents. Unless parents and grandparents are not careful, children are known to quickly master the ability of sweet talking their grandparents to obtain something expressly forbidden to them by their parents.
Constant communication between parents and grandparents is therefore key. It is crucial for parents to find time to communicate and offer clear guidelines to grandparents about aspects of the child’s upbringing they would like them to contribute to.
I have met many grandparents, particularly grandfathers, who are filled with joy at the opportunity to spend time with the grandchildren and offer hands-on care. They tell me it is something they missed out on when they were bringing up their own children due to work requirements in support of the family.
On the other hand, I have met many elderly who are at their wits’ end trying to make ends meet as their pension does not cover basic necessities. Many tell me that their pension is all but exhausted by the third week of the month. Our parents and our grandparents deserve better.
I salute and thank grandparents for their invaluable contribution in the upbringing of our children.
Happy Grandparents Day.
Dr Psaila Zammit is a PN candidate on the 6th electoral district.