Housework does not come natural to man. By man, I mean mankind. Let’s face it, in the prehistoric era there were no houses with an upstairs and downstairs, no living rooms, washrooms and kitchens. No one could really complain about a mess in the bathroom or leaving plates unwashed or dust on the vetrina. It was just poky huts.

Also after sunset, the prehistoric man’s view of the surroundings tended to be rather romantic what with the source of light being either a torch fire or the moon. There were no 500-watt halogen floodlights which accentuated grubby floors turning cavemen and cavewomen into grumpy bores. Prehistoric couples argued about food, about who has to collect fire sticks and about not-sleeping-a-wink-at-night-because-the-wolves-did-not-stop-howling-and-why-didn’t-you-go-out-and-scare-them-away; but definitely not about house chores.

Unlike today.

In a quick straw poll among my girlfriends, the most common arguments are about housework. “If we lived 50,000 years ago, I’m sure my husband and I would be one of those sickeningly happy couples who wouldn’t know the meaning of bickering,” said one.

The straw poll is not just a perception. Last week timesofmalta.com regaled us with some statistics. The men of the Mediterranean are very reluctant home cleaners. Oxford University analysed all the house chore studies conducted between 1961 and 2011 and came up with some interesting evolving data.

The worse off are Italian women. In 1980, Italian women did over four hours more housework than men every day. By 2008, the difference had declined to just over three hours. Spanish women are more or less in the same boat: they are still doing an average of three hours more housework than men every day.

In the UK, things look brighter. Men have consistently increased their share of housework in the last 50 years, and consequently the disparity has fallen to an hour and 15 minutes. Undoubtedly, the ideal, egalitarian, men live in Scandinavian countries but still, women in Norway, Finland and Denmark are doing an hour more housework than men.

What about Malta? It was not included in the study – but make no mistake we are very Mediterranean and absolutely not Scandinavian. A 2006 study commissioned by the National Commission for the Promotion of Equality asked Maltese schoolchildren which of their parents did the housework: 80 per cent said their mother washed the clothes, 44 per cent said their father never cooked and just 1.4 per cent said their fathers sometimes washed the floor.

Fathers if you are reading this: grab that mop, because it will affect the future of your daughters. According to the journal Psychological Science, fathers who split household chores with their wives tend to have more ambitious daughters who aspire to less traditional and more money-making careers, such as accountancy and medicine.

Fathers, grab that mop because it will affect the future of your daughters

On the other hand, fathers who sit on the armchairs reading the papers instead of emptying the dishwasher, tend to nurture daughters who steer into the traditionally female-dominant jobs, such as teachers or stay-at-home-mums.

Men’s idea of house chores is usually limited to taking out the bins and changing light bulbs (the modern version of torchfire). Meanwhile women vacuum, clean the bathroom, wash and iron, organise birthday parties, buy clothes and pack schoolbags. Why?

There is the little problem that men sometimes do not see things, maybe because deep down they never properly adjusted their prehistoric sight vision. A friend of mine, in a desperate attempt to get her boyfriend to be more hands-on, decided not to clear up the living room for a week. “By the end of the week I felt like I was living in one of those UK Living programmes where the presenters go and throw away whole skips of clutter,” she said. A fortnight later, she came home and found him clearing up. He hadn’t noticed until the day he couldn’t find the iPhone charger in the mess.

But there is hope yet. In a rather bizarre study, Privilege Home Insurance mapped for us the future of housework, revealing that the house work gap is narrowing to the point where men and women will eventually switch albeit in 50 years’ time.

Here’s how it will work out: in nine years’ time men will take charge of clothes washing. Cleaning the bathroom will come next – in 16 years. In 36 years’ time men will be cooking more than women. Dusting will be last to fall, with men avoiding dusters for another 52 years.

Meanwhile, here’s a helpline for squabbling couples: BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour have an online Chore Wars calculator enabling couples to settle who does most around the house. Armed with statistics, maybe even Maltese men will turn Scandinavian.

A final note on ironing: I have dedicated a few column inches to this chore, which I hate with a passion. Why don’t they invent a proper iron machine which simply works at the mere press of a button, I whined in the past.

I am happy to report that I found one: a relative pointed me in the direction of a steam generator iron. It’s not cheap, and it looks daunting, not unlike a mini space shuttle. But oh the joy; you just press it once on your shirt and violà it looks like it’s been pressed for a catwalk.

You just want to take a step back, and with a sharp intake breath admire your freshly ironed masterpiece. Ironing has almost (but not quite) become a pleasant hobby now.

krischetcuti@gmail.com
Twitter: @KrisChetcuti

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