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What would the world be like in years to come if tomorrow’s parents, leaders and policymakers had the skills to resolve conflicts?
Would it be too much to dream that families could handle conflicts and resolve them rather than break up, or that leaders could come together to find ways to create synergies and find solutions to problems for the common good of all?
For such a dream to become reality, we need to sow the seeds today, as the children of today will be the parents and leaders of tomorrow.
Often parents dedicate time to resolve their children’s problems, such as those that occur at home or with friends at school. While this helps the child solve the immediate issue, they may actually be missing an opportunity to teach their children the skills that would serve them a lifetime.
It is understandable that the focus is on children’s academic achievement as this will increase their chances of building a career and finding a good job. But equally important is the need to share with them conflict resolution skills and experiences that will help them in their life.
Conflict resolution skills are one of the foundation blocks they should learn to build true friendships with fellow students at school and in their families.
The saying ‘Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime’ sparked the creation of Friendship Cards, an innovative tool to help children develop communication and conflict resolution skills.
The cards were created by Relationships are Forever, a foundation set up by Joanna and Julian Sant Fournier, who worked with a team of Personal, Social and Career Development teachers, designers, artists and other professionals for two years to realise the project.
To create peace in the world we have to work within the family with children, who are the future and the parents of tomorrow
The set of beautifully illustrated skill cards intended to help children learn a simple process of how to share feelings and develop conflict resolution skills.
Even really good friends can still have arguments or disagreements. This is quite normal and necessary, as it is actually part of the process of building a strong relationship. What is important is that children understand the process to be able to sort out the argument.
The game helps children process an argument into simple stages:
• Feel comfortable to say how they feel, talk to each other and find out what caused the argument;
• Realise that they may have said or done something wrong;
• Focus on taking positive steps and avoiding hurtful behaviour so that it is possible to make up and be good friends again.
Through the cards, children learn various strategies of how to tackle a situation with friends or parents. At the end of each cycle the relationship becomes stronger and develops on a deeper level. The cards also help children to develop emotional literacy as they can help to identify, understand, and respond to emotions in themselves and others in a healthy manner.
The message on each card is presented in simple sentences and beautiful colourful drawings, making the whole idea playful and attractive for children. The drawings in themselves help the children process the situation as they can associate themselves with the characters on the cards. Simple but carefully chosen questions on each card help children to think and talk, making it easier to express themselves.
Many children come from broken families and often go through difficult situations at home. These cards can help children to label an emotion, connect to a drawing on one of the cards and share what they are feeling with their teacher or parents. Being able to identify the problem a child is going through is priceless in a relationship.
The cards act as a tool that can be shared among families, at schools, in youth groups or any other controlled environment, and are a practical way for the children to experience new strategies and techniques.
Children love to play. When combining fun with learning, the pedagogical process works at its best, as children experience and process the situation which in time leads to internalising these new skills.
Pope Francis recently said that society must learn the art and skills of pluralism, and called for the next generation to be equipped with the tools of encounter, negotiation and conflict resolution.
We are in the Year of Mercy, which in essence is all about creating peace in the family. This is not an easy task by any means. If we want to create peace in the world we have to start working within the family with children, who are the future and the parents of tomorrow.
Teachers, parents and children may learn more about Friendship Cards by attending a workshop provided by Relationships are Forever foundation. information on the Friendship Cards initiative may be found on the websites below.
www.friendshipcards.org
www.facebook.com/friendshipcards.org
Fr Hermann Duncan is a member of the community of Carmelite friars in Balluta.