Surprisingly enough, I didn’t get vast amounts of criticism for the first part of my annual Premier League predictions last Sunday.

A few of you questioned my suggestion that Swansea are heading for the drop, but overall you seem to think I was pretty much on target. Which is both unusual and slightly worrying. For everybody.

But anyway, let’s press on with the second part shall we, and take a little look at how I expect the top half of the table to pan out. This is where things could get a little messy…

Stoke City

Mark Hughes made one of the shrewdest signings of the summer, snapping up Joe Allen from Liverpool. A hero of Wales’ utterly remarkable march to the semi-finals of Euro 2016, you can’t help but feel Allen never got a proper chance to shine at Anfield. With him pulling the strings in midfield, Xherdan Shaqiri dancing his way around the pitch and Marko Arnautovic battering opponents into submission, Stokealona should be fascinating to watch.

Hughes remains the most underrated manager in the top flight, in my opinion. Surely he has to get one of the big jobs sooner rather than later. Man United after Jose Mourinho screws up in his third season maybe…?

Final position: 10th.

Leicester City

The defending champions will be out to prove last season was no one-hit wonder. But that is precisely what it was. Their title triumph was the ultimate football fairy tale and we all loved every minute of it. But it won’t be repeated because there was one overriding factor involved – all the traditionally bigger teams decided to have bad season at exactly the same time.

And while Claudio Ranieri and his team pounced brilliantly to take advantage of that fluke, a similar sort of ineptitude across the entire top-level of English football is unlikely to happen again any time soon. Competing in Europe isn’t going to help their focus and, sadly, the people’s champions will be sliding down to a more realistic level this season.

Final position: 9th.

West Ham United

A big, big season for West Ham as they settle into their new home at the Olympic Stadium. Their objective in making the move was to make the club a big player in English football, and the fact that the number of season tickets they have sold is second only to Manchester United shows it is working.

Slaven Bilic had a good first season in charge of the Hammers and he will want to build on that in their new home. Although I see West Ham emerging as a serious force to be reckoned with in the coming years, I don’t think it is going to happen just yet despite some eye-opening summer purchases.

Tangential thought: I wonder if any fans will forgetfully turn up at Upton Park for the club’s first home game of the season. I bet you there’s one. There’s always one.

Final position: 8th.

Everton

The only good thing about the steady flow of billionaires buying English clubs is that the playing field is slowly levelling out again – pretty soon all the clubs in the top flight will be rich men’s toys. Everton are the latest club to seduce their very own sugar daddy, although that hasn’t really shown in their signings this summer.

With some quality players and Ronald Koeman at the helm they have a chance of challenging the top four over the next nine months or so, but that’s only going to happen if Farhad Moshiri puts some real money where his mouth is. And quickly. Realistically I think it might be next season before we see Everton as a genuine force. Or when Moshiri decides owning his own club is not the cash cow he expected and far less fun than owning a slice of Arsenal.

Final position: 7th.

Who knows, maybe three years of failure will make Man United fans less irritating and more humble. Yeah, right

Tottenham Hotspur

Spurs performed excellently last season, exceeding most people’s expectations by pushing Leicester for the title. And I don’t see any reason why they won’t be involved towards the top this season too. However, I still get the feeling they are lacking that bit of magic, that one super signing that will make them genuine title contenders.

The quirkiness of last season gave them a great opportunity to end their 50-plus years of waiting for a title and I fear they are going to regret not taking it. That’s not to be negative about a club which is on the way up in every respect. But they don’t seem ready to slug it out with the big boys yet. Maybe the new stadium is the final push they need.

Final position: 6th.

Liverpool

The honeymoon period is over for England’s favourite German. Nobody expected too much from Jurgen Klopp last year – after all, he was taking over mid-season and had to make do with the resources at his disposal. But now he has had time to settle in, get rid of all the chaff and bring in plenty of wheat.

I’m not suggesting he needs to be challenging for the title, in fact I would suggest that is highly unlikely, but he does need to have a serious go at the top four or at least win some silverware. He may do the latter, but I don’t see him managing the former.

The one thing you do know, however, is that it won’t be dull having him bouncing around on the touchline like a man possessed.

Final position: 5th.

Chelsea

If an award is ever invented for most underperforming champions in the history of the Premier League, then last season’s Chelsea side will win it hands down. Defending their title with one of the greatest modern managers ever at the helm should have been a piece of cake in such a bizarre season. Instead the entire club imploded and, as the dust settled, the only winner at Stamford Bridge turned out to be their former team doctor; their now very rich former team doctor, to be precise.

If I were a Chelsea fan I would be relatively happy with Antonio Con­te’s appointment, especially after what we saw of Italy at Euro 2016. But I don’t expect them to challenge at the very top until the Italian has a better understanding of the English game. At the moment I suspect he may have a bit too much ‘parking the bus’ in his gameplan.

Final position: 4th.

Arsenal

Last season’s second place finish flattered Arsenal, especially considering the title race (insomuch as there was one) involved Leicester and Spurs and roughly zero teams from the Emirates stadium. Arsene Wenger’s side were merely the best of a very average bunch of also-rans.

Normally this is when I predict it will all come together for Wenger this season, but my faith in that happening has finally vanished, like Roy Hodgson’s reputation. Sections of the crowd turned on Wenger last season and, unless they make a flying start, the same is likely to happen this time. Only with bigger sections. And more turning.

The league feels out of their grasp but, strangely, I think the Champions League isn’t. That may be Wen­ger’s saving grace. Otherwise this time next year we’ll be making predictions on a new Arsenal manager.

Final position: 3rd.

Manchester City

So, the football messiah has landed and English football is supposed to bow before his feet. Well, I think Pep Guardiola is in for a rude awakening. His success has invariably come in leagues where the level of competition was appalling, with no more than two or three teams challenging at the top. Now he is plying his trade in a league where even unlikely no-hopers can win the title.

I have no doubt City will do well under Guardiola – considering the squad he inherited and the new players he has bought this summer, some success is inevitable. Even Steve McLaren would win a trophy with that collection of players. But equally I don’t think he will win the league in his debut season. There will be lots of passing of the ball, and the purists will bow their heads in drooling awe, but ultimately it won’t be enough to top the table.

Final position: 2nd.

Manchester United

For the first time since Sir Alex Ferguson hung up his hairdryer, there is an aura about Manchester United, a sense that they are once again a team with a purpose. Wayne Rooney has said the mood at the club feels like it did back when they won titles for fun, and that is ominous for everyone else. Jose Mourinho knows exactly what it takes to win the Premier League and it is his experience that will give him the edge over his rival across the city.

The addition of the excellent but overpriced Paul Pogba was, to my mind, the final piece of the jigsaw. This time next year, United will be back where their fans believe they should be – top of the pile. Who knows, maybe three years of failure will make their fans less irritating and more humble. Yeah, right. And Sir Alex will make a shock comeback as manager of Notts County.

Final position: 1st.

So there you have it, I’m going with United, and not in some twisted attempt to jinx them either, it has to be said.

Let’s touch base in May when you can all take pleasure in calling me an idiot.

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com
Twitter: @maltablade

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