The apostolic exhortation of Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, completes the reflection on the family conducted by the Synods of 2014 and 2015, a reflection that engaged the entire world in a vivid discussion in the social media and even promoted much dialogue at personal level. Among the less-noted passages of Francis’s new exhortation is a lengthy section on marriage preparation, a subject the Pope has repeatedly made reference to, calling for additional focus at diocesan and parish levels.

“Learning to love someone does not happen automatically,” says the Pope, “nor can it be taught in a workshop just prior to the celebration of marriage.” He emphasises that “for every couple, marriage preparation begins at birth”. In fact, the Pope speaks in terms of remote preparation for marriage. In other words, the learning about love and relationships, which happens long before a person chooses his/her future spouse.

The way in which marriage is understood and dealt with in homes, schools and parishes is becoming increasingly important, more so in our contemporary world in which society itself drifts away from the traditional understanding of marriage. Indeed, as the Pope succinctly points out, young engaged couples who are best prepared for marriage are likely to be those who have witnessed a good example of marriage from their own parents.

Yet, of course, it cannot be denied that a formal preparation programme for marriage – even for those couples who do not wish to marry in Church – is an invaluable resource to assist young couples on how they can more fully tap into the wellsprings of a marital relationship to strengthen their union, not just as an idea but as a reality that impacts their daily married life.

At civil level, young men and women who do not wish to marry in Church are not offered any form of preparation

For several years in Malta, marriage preparation has been primarily dealt with by the Cana Movement and it is compulsory for couples who choose to seal their love through sacramental marriage. In our experience, and through feedback from participants, the majority are largely happy with the content of these courses and there is a lot of goodwill among the couples. Albeit some of the participants attend the course because they are obliged to, most of them respond very positively about their experience.

One young couple from the parish of St Sebastian, in Qormi reported that “we didn’t feel we had anything to learn from the course, yet, we were mistaken. Today, we know better and we are grateful that we were offered this golden opportunity to enrich our relationship.”

As things stand, some local parishes seem to keep young couples at arm’s length due to lack of anything to offer them that is suited to their stage of life. There are organised groups for children, for youths and for families, yet hardly anything tailor-made for couples about to embark upon this great step in their lives.

At civil level, young men and women who do not wish to marry in Church are not offered any form of preparation, in spite of the fact that they too require assistance to “learn how to love this very real person with whom he or she plans to share his or her whole life” and to help them recognise eventual problems and risks before they commit to marriage.

The Pope invites us all – not just the Church – to reach the hearts of these young couples and appeal to their capacity for generosity, commitment, love and even heroism (because married life is a beautiful, but arduous, task), in this way inviting them to take up the challenge of marriage with enthusiasm and courage.

It is the hope of the Cana Movement to set the tone for upcoming meetings between the Church and State entities to focus upon the call of Amoris Laetitia for more intense, creative efforts to improve marriage preparation and engage all couples, even those who are already cohabiting, to commit to a shared and lasting life project.

Getting to where we wish to arrive will involve great energy and creativity but it is not an impossible task. The real challenge which Amoris Laetitia poses is whether we can offer effective support and formation to enable people to live out their marital vocation joyfully and with full commitment. In this context, marriage preparation is then not seen as the end of the road but “a life-long calling based on a firm and realistic decision to face all trials and difficult moments together”.

Christine Galea is secretary-general of the Cana Movement.

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