The shriek echoed around the house. “Eek! Everyone! Quick! COME QUICK! I FOUND ONE!”

By the time I followed my daughter’s racket upstairs – was it a spider, a snail or a slug? – the S.O. was already by her side. Together they were excitedly snapping away photos of the latest resident in the house: Pudgey the Pokemon, a greyish, frowning, winking owl jumping up and down in the middle of the room.

I could not even spout my sceptical bah-humbug-these-modern-games spin, because dear reader, I too got carried away by enthusiasm. The V-shape of my raised eyebrow abruptly changed to a soft O-shape one: Aww, we had a cute virtual blob of feathers in the house. And it looked very real. And I wanted to catch it too.

Of course, I had resisted downloading Pokémon Go. I had been following the craze in the news mostly because I’m at a point where I’ll read anything to distract me from Isis and Trump. Sky News has been all the time running items about how the game has improved someone’s life or, seconds later, massively endangered it.

Times of Malta also has informed us of the abundance of Pokémon in Valletta, their conglomeration next to the law courts, and how soon the whole nation will be gripped by the craze. Soon enough, my sister was telling me about a colleague of hers who in his lunch break goes to St Elmo to train his Pokémon; a friend spoke of a colleague who had taken a day off after he downloaded the app to go and chase the furry balls all over the island; and in Floriana I saw a chap checking whether there were any on stage singing next to Joseph Calleja – “Maybe they love classical music,” he said (not sure if he was joking).

Bit by bit it started feeling like you’re the only child at school who is not going to a sleepover and therefore you cannot share in the in-jokes. So it was downloaded – hurrah for peer pressure and all that.

Is this what we need to combat the deadly risk of modern working lifestyles and to stop us from eating at our desk/ spending days crouched in front of a computer/ evenings slumped in front of the television?

I have to say that augmented reality does my head in. As I watched that Pudgey dude jumping up and down at home, I had the same mind-boggling feeling I get every time I look at my daughter’s 3D-printed doll. How? What? How? What? How? What? My brain puffs and huffs, trying to grasp the logistics behind it, but then it gives up with a sad little pop and I content myself with feeling like I’m on set of Back to the Future.

There will be more and more of this. Sensing the success, Apple has already pledged to invest substantially in augmented reality stuff (sigh, it would be better if they invest in augmenting the lifespan of iPhone batteries).

And if you think about it, it could be a scary. Will we, in a couple of years’ time, be walking down Republic Street wearing 3D-specs to view another, alternate, virtual life? And wouldn’t that make us even more susceptible to blur the already fine lines between truth and fiction?

But I digress. Let’s tackle the present before the future. Is this Pokémon Go good or evil? First off, may I say that the fervour for the game shows how much of a long way Malta has gone.

When the Pokémon card games were introduced 15 years ago, we had priests on radio saying children should be banned from playing it because these cute animated characters were the work of the devil. Luckily, no word of that this time round, and I am absolutely sure that as I type this, the Archbishop too is looking for Pokémon in the Curia building (here’s hoping he won’t be mistaken as one).

Admittedly it has made people go off the rail all over the world: a criminal on the run was arrested in Michigan because he walked into a police station that was marked as a Pokémon gym; on eBay, Level 23 Pokémon Go accounts are selling for €4,500; a New Zealander quit his job to hunt Pokémon full-time; campaign organisers for Hillary Clinton are hanging in corners where there are lots of Pokémon to convince gathered players to register to vote; the Bosnian government warned citizens not to play Pokémon Go on minefields; a Pokémon Go player was shot at by a man who mistook him for a burglar; two men fell off a cliff while chasing Pokémon.

It’s a list that raises alarm bells; however, there was some good news: psychologists have claimed that Pokémon Go can help treat depression; Digital Health hailed it as a game that “is making people go outside, walk around and – would you believe it – exercise”, and estimated that people are walking at least two kilometres more a day.

It also seems to be bringing people together: there are quite a few stories of ‘I met the love of my life while playing Pokémon’. And even abandoned animals are happier – a dog rescue shelter in the US advertised for players to take the shelter’s lonely dogs for a walk as companions while they catch Pokémon.

This is a computer game with a difference. Is this what we need to combat the deadly risk of modern working lifestyles and to stop us from eating at our desk/spending days crouched in front of a computer/evenings slumped in front of the television?

Coming up next: a presser by Chris Fearne telling us that breastfeeding Pokémon is the solution to obesity; a Community Chest fund dinner with Pokémon as guest of honours; and a Xarabank to discuss if Pokémon wear tangas.

Interesting times. Now let me go and check on our Pudgey.

krischetcuti@gmail.com
Twitter: @KrisChetcuti